Nintendo's E3 2014

Good old Reggie

I don't write as much as I should any more but E3 is always a time for big discussion. Or in this case me just saying what I thought about it this year.

After looking back at the final announcements I'd say I'm semi-happy about the outcome of this year's E3 for Nintendo. But it didn't start out that way. After watching the digital event I had to admit I felt let down. Annoyed even.

Nintendo are in trouble- even as a big fan I won't lie about that fact. Nobody can get behind the idea of the Wii U, the 3DS is hardly the success the DS was and there are a limited number of fan-favourite franchises on the horizon. The key to fixing these problems I thought would be simple. Just make the games that people have long talked about and have said 'how cool would it be if Nintendo made...'.

Sad lol :(

An example of such games are-

Pokemon Snap 2 - Everybody wants this. Everybody. There is no greater use of the Wii U gamepad and if there's one thing we all know it's that Pokemon sells!

A new 2D Metroid- Metroid Dread was at one point happening and everyone was stoked for it.

A futuristic Zelda - Bring some new life to the Zelda franchise.

Mario Galaxy 3, F Zero in HD, franchise crossovers - just things that would get people talking.


The Digital Event did none of this. It wasn't a train wreck but my god was it underwhelming.

Going through it step by step.

I thought it had a strong start. The Robot Chicken shorts showed that Nintendo aren't afraid to poke fun at themselves and know that it's time for a change of pace and direction. 'There are no new Mario games this year' peaks interest. No Mario this year? What direction will they go in?! What franchises will we see?

A Yoshi game, the mini-game from Mario 3D World and errr... Mario Maker. No Mario then.

The choice of Smash Bros characters to reveal was a little odd as well. I thought the Miis were okay to start the show slowly but then to finish the event with a Lady Palutena reveal was absurd. 'OMG PALUTENA WILL BE IN THE NEW SMASH BROS!?' tweeted no one.

Twas a hell of an anime though

I personally go into E3 every year anticipating the big reveals so I was disappointed how much time was spent on games we already knew existed. The news that Midna is playable in Hyrule Warriors was fantastic but I wasn't bothered about hearing all that info on Yoshi, X or Bayonetta 2. New trailers and gameplay was nice to see but I wanted new games!

Amiibo had to be there, I understand this. But as a 23 year old man it'd didn't interest me too much. What self respecting 23 year old still plays with toys? Apart from Lego. Lego is different.

And now to the most positive aspect of the digital event- New Zelda. It looked stunning but I was kind of hoping for something more...epic. Look at the reveal trailer for Twilight Princess for example. I'm sure a trailer like that will come soon but it was just a little disappointing to see only 20 seconds of moving footage after the initial excitement of 'holy shit new Zelda!'

This might not be Link, scandal

Splatoon looked cool but had far too much importance put on it. Like if Dillon's Rolling Western had a 10 minute feature a few years ago.

And that was kind of it for the digital event. That was all a bit mehNEW STAR FOX! Coming to Wii U! Pac Man is in Smash Bros! Surprise!

Why was no importance put on this info? Pac Man is a huge reveal, I'd say as big as Mega Man. Even now, fan's who watched the digital event are still unaware of the announcement that came after.

The best newcomer imo

And no Star Fox footage at all? They got away with showing the bare minimum of Zelda, I'd be okay with seeing the same for Star Fox.

There are good years and bad years for Nintendo at E3 and I sadly feel this year's was on the latter end of the scale. We still have one or two things to look forward to in the coming year though with Smash Bros and Hyrule Warriors coming soon.

Until next year Nintendo. And all the Directs in between.

Top 10 films I saw in 2013

It's odd that I look back at 2013 as a somewhat disappointing year in film because in reality it has been anything but. Making this years list has been far more challenging than last years. Maybe it's because summer was a bit of a non-event in terms of massive memorable blockbusters. I just think Man of Steel when I think of summer which was pretty meh.

The year started very strong however and had a great finish as well. I've only been writing reviews since April but I've been scoring films for years and this year I have thrown out more 9s and 10s than any other year.

At this point I gives some honourable mentions to some truly great films that just missed out on making the list. So take a bow- Captain Phillips, Wreck-It-Ralph, Gangster Squad, Gravity, Fast and Furious 6, Rush, World War Z, Thor 2 and Hitchcock. Great films I'd happily watch again.

Also I've not seen Frozen yet so bare that in mind.

So here it is- the top 10 films I saw in 2013.

10.The Look of Love

I really hoped this would be on my top 10 list and I can honestly say I think it warrants this position. There's a chance you've never heard of it as it was only out for about a week. The Look of Love is a British film about the life of Paul Raymond who at one point was the richest man in Britain. How did he get so rich? Porn, magazines, clubs, smutty shows- it sounds a bit smutty and for some of the film it was. But it actually went much deeper and explored his family life and the toll it took on him and the people around him. You wouldn't expect a film about Steve Coogan playing a porn mogul to have you in tears yet as the credits roll there was an unquestionable lump in my throat.

Best bit- As soon as Raymond starts his 'slide' as his lifestyle all gets a bit much there's some surprisingly emotional moments.

 Review-
 http://www.elephantchrisfilmreviews.blogspot.co.uk/2013/04/the-look-of-love_29.html

9.Warm Bodies

So much more than just 'Twilight with zombies' Warm Bodies was a surprisingly heart-warming film that felt quite British as much as the film was shot in the states. The relationship between Julie and Nicholas Holt's zombie character was very sweet and the journey they both go on is a joy to watch. It never takes itself too seriously but still produces a great love story. They're probably my favourite movie couple of the year.

Best bit- When R (zombie Holt) is trying to communicate with Julie you really find yourself backing him. He has a lot of character as much as he can barely get his words out.


8. Trance

It's been a good year for James Mcavoy. As well as hugely acclaimed Filth he was in Danny Boyle's mind-bending Trance that was almost too clever for it's own good. It was stylish as hell and there were great performances all round. If you didn't mind getting a bit lost, and by a bit I mean very, during a lot of the film you'll be rewarded with a very satisfying finish.

Best bit- Never quite knowing when the film is over. Questioning if what you're seeing is in fact real or just part of a Trance. It's very clever for a film to be able to make you question that without losing you completely.

7. The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug

The slow middle bit aside the Hobbit gave us some of the most epic scenes in cinema this year courtesy of Smaug the dragon. The action scenes are incredible to watch and the end makes you pine for next years instalment. It's all very epic in every sense of the word.

Best bit- I think it's pretty clear, any scene with Smaug the dragon is mind-blowingly cool.

Review-
http://www.elephantchrisfilmreviews.blogspot.co.uk/2013/12/the-hobbit-desolation-of-smaug.html

6. Iron Man 3

Iron Man 3 split opinion more than any other film I saw this year but I'm glad I was in the 'loved it' category. Iron Man is just badass and the mix of serious action and humour is just something that Marvel does so well. It's like a comic book come to life and there's rarely any slow-down. As for the Mandarin- I had no problem with him as I haven't read the comics but I can understand why some felt a little let down. For me though it was just a nice twist.

Best bit- The Airforce One scene springs to mind. Fun fact- there was no green-screen involved in that scene, they were actual skydivers to make it look authentic.

Review-
http://www.elephantchrisfilmreviews.blogspot.co.uk/2013/04/iron-man-3.html


5. The Hunger Games: Catching Fire

I was worried that the 'The Hunger Games - AGAIN!' premise wouldn't quite work but thankfully it really does and adds to what I'd say is the best film franchise of current times. The overall atmosphere of Catching Fire is what really stands out here and the feeling of gloom and desperation to find some sort of hope is felt by the audience. It  maybe doesn't all wrap up the way you'd like leaves you wanting more which is never a bad thing.

Best bit- That ending where you're not entirely sure what's going on before that cliffhanger. Can't say too much because spoilaz etc but if you saw it you know exactly what I'm talking about.

Review-
http://www.elephantchrisfilmreviews.blogspot.co.uk/2013/11/the-hunger-games-catching-fire.html


4. Kick Ass 2

Summer's saviour- that barely anyone saw. I was never Kick Ass's biggest fan when I saw it but this film turned me. It just feels very original as much as the premise is quite basic. The violence is OTT but I never felt it was disturbingly so and the side story of Hit-Girl trying to fit into normal life turns the film into something brilliant. Chloe Grace Moretz is fantastic and she almost steals the show if it wasn't for the massive hero throw down as the end.

Best bit- It's a bit wrong but the part I find myself remembering more than any other is 'the sick stick'. If you don't know what it is go watch it- through your fingers probably.

3.Saving Mr.Banks

I'm a big Disney fan so it's clear while Saving Mr.Banks appealed to me. It was just all very heartfelt and a constantly interesting look into the Disney studios at the time. You don't often see Disney producing a film like this based at an adult audience about what sounds like an almost dry subject- the arguments between a pernickity older woman and Walt Disney. But it's presented in a wonderful way and makes you watch Mary Poppins in a totally different way.

Best bit- When she finally sees what Walt has done with her treasured book it really gains some 'feels'.

Review-
http://www.elephantchrisfilmreviews.blogspot.co.uk/2013/12/saving-mr-banks.html


2.The Great Gatsby

I was unfamiliar with the actual Great Gatsby story so for me this was me experiencing the book as well as the the incredible style and feel shown in this adaptation of the novel. I just thought the whole thing was pretty beautiful- the visuals, the modern sounds mixed with the 20s era backdrop. Just hearing the dialogue for the first time gave me goosebumps, especially those end lines. Gatsby split opinion but I'm glad I was in the half (quarter) that loved every minute of it.

Best bit- The first of Gatsby's parties really takes your breath away. It makes every party you've ever been to look a bit rubbish.

Review-
http://www.elephantchrisfilmreviews.blogspot.co.uk/2013/06/the-great-gatsby.html


STOP THE PRESSES


After starting this top 10 I did indeed see Frozen. And it was fantastic. So fantastic I can't not include it. Suppose I could just remove the Look of Love but it needs attention since so few people saw it. So here it is- joint second place

2= Frozen

Disney back on form- I just finished the review of Frozen and here it is- http://www.elephantchrisfilmreviews.blogspot.co.uk/2014/01/frozen.html


1. Les Miserables

Not released til January in the UK so it makes my top 10 of 2013. And it doesn't just make it- it rightfully tops it. I like films that make you feel emotion as I've made clear before and Les Miserables had me an absolute mess - no shame. I have no other words than just saying it's just powerful powerful stuff and perhaps the greatest musical ever created.

Best bit- Hearing 'Do You Hear The People Sing' and feeling the goosebumps run up your arms and down your back. Rowsing, Moving, liberating stuff.



And there ends my list of films in 2013. It's tough to make predictions for 2014 but I hope Dawn of The Planet of the Apes doesn't let me down and there's several surprises along the way.

Nintendo at E3 2013

I take no credit for the above image. It is however a thing of beauty. 

I was gutted when I found out I would be working when Nintendo did their Nintendo Direct E3 special. To be honest I wasn't a fan of the move away from the big show they usually put on at E3 and I still think it would have been better to put those trailers in front of 1000s of excited journalists.

That being said I feel this has been one of Nintendo's strongest E3s in a long time. Nothing has made me quite as excited since the Metroid Other M, Mario galaxy 2 double of 2009. 

As many have pointed out they have played pretty safe. But I don't own Nintendo hardware to play a lot of third party titles to be honest. The games they showed weren't totally revolutionary but they do look like a hell of a lot of fun and that's why I'm proud to be a Nintendo fan. 

My inner nerd coming out right now. Not that it was ever a secret. 

So let's have a look at the Nintendo Direct again, bit by bit. 

Pokemon X and Y

So we start with Pokemon X and Y. Breaking us in pretty slow. It's hardly a big reveal but does have some really interesting info like the fairy type pokemon. Lets just not talk too much about Pokemon-amie. That was just a little embarrassing. They played the game down a bit, almost as if it was exclusively for children but it had a ton of new pokemon and just enough new stuff to warrant it being featured. 

Super Mario 3D World

And then mazza's face appeared. Time to get hyped. The first thing that struck me and indeed anyone watching was that it appeared to be Super Mario 3D land but a little bigger. Now it's not like me to talk shit about Nintendo but I dunno, I felt just a little disappointed. With the N64 we had Mario 64 revolutionizing the way 3D platformers are played, GC had Mario Sunshine which was very innovative. Mario Galaxy was an absolute masterpiece that raised the bar for platformers past and present and really made the Wii a must have console. And for the Wii U? A sequel to a 3DS game that wasn't quite as highly rated as other 3D Mario games. An odd move and one that has taken out the awe and sense of 'epic' that used to go along with 3D Mario games. 

Still! I loved Mario 3D Land on 3DS and look forward to more of the same. The cat suit looks like it could be fun and it still has elements of Galaxy in it which made those games so enjoyable. The biggest wave of excitement hit when I saw that Peach was a playable character, something fans wanted in New Super Mario Bros years ago. Even better is how the characters have the abilities they had in Mario Bros 2 which is a great retro reference. 

I can see Mario 3D World going the same way as Mario Bros 2 actually. Not regarded as the best Mario game ever but remembered for being a good time none the less. 

Mario Kart 8

I see Nintendo are going for the plain and simple 'Mario Kart #NUMBER' now. Not a bad thing, any title referencing the 'gimmick' would cheapen it a bit. 

This is the only part of E3 I predicted almost spot on. I always thought they'd have an almost 'Mario Kart Galaxy' game but just wouldn't have a clue how it would look. Well now I know. And it looks hella fun! It's mixed it up just enough to make Mario Kart interesting again. I just worry it'll put off some more casual gamers who will find it too confusing. The joy of Mario Kart is that anyone can pick up and play it. I think parents and grandfolk will be put off as the tracks start to tilt upside down and such. 'ach no, looks too confusing to me, you play though'

For the fans like myself though it's a direction I love that they've gone in. It just makes me wonder what on earth Mario Kart 17 will look like. 

Wii Party U, Wii Fit U and Art Academy

All things I'm uninterested in but can understand why they are there. Never really saw the point in Wii Party when Mario Party exists but it looks kinda fun. No images or trailer for Wii Fit U but the delay seems to suggest they are putting a lot of effort into it. And Art Academy could be a fun time waster, if you're into that sort of thing. The question remains why draw something on the Wii U gamepad when you could just draw it in real life instead? Shirly it's more rewarding. 

3rd Party Games

As said before, I've never been too excited for 3rd part games on any Nintendo system. There's been a few that have been completely amazing but with Nintendo I usually just stick with the favourites. Xbox and PS get the best third party stuff anyway. I'm stoked for Arkham Origins for example but I really don't care which console I play it on. Thought it was a bit cheeky to include Rayman on that sizzle reel as well seeings as Wii U should have had it months ago. I'll give Sonic: The Lost Worlds a look though probably and also Watchdogs, maybe on another console, maybe on Wii U.

And a lot of the eshop stuff looked totally insane, especially the spin the bottle game. DRILL. Wut. Oh and Duck Tales, want to play that to understand what the hype is about. 

Zelda: Windwaker HD

It looks bootiful. More bootiful than I could ever imagined. It's a game where I could happily watch someone else play through and just marvel at how much more amazing a currently amazing looking game can look. 

We got shown clips of the sea and the exterior of the islands but my god just think about some of the bosses. Gohma, the first boss on a 40 inch screen in HD. Goan be epic. 

No confirmation if they will add the two extra dungeons that got rejected from the original but they seem to have no worries in changing things about. I liked the fast-sailing option and the new Tingle message service could be quite funny as it's obviously going to get misused. I look forward to finding all manner of smut on the beach of Windfall Island. 

Wonderful 101

Anything that looks like Pikmin will always be a big hit with me. If this gets reviewed highly it'll be a defiinite purchase, and it's coming soonish as well. 

Donkey Kong Country Tropical Freeze

A fantastic reveal as Donkey Kong Country Returns is possibly my favourite 2D platformer of all time. It's again 'more of the same' but when the original is so good why change much else? 

The inclusion of Dixie Kong is nice and also that there will be underwater levels. The best bit of the whole trailer is the mine-cart section with the realistic swinging plane and storage containers - cannot wait to play these new levels. And the new camera angles will make the game more exciting too. One of the best bits of Returns was when you were showcasing your mad platforming skills while all hell broke loose behind and around you. The different camera angles will hopefully take us even closer to the action. 

How do I feel that this is Retro Studio's Wii U project? Happy...but at the same time a little disappointed. I'm so glad that we're getting another Donkey Kong Country game but thought they might rebooting an old series. And seeings as everything they touch turns to gold it could have been a much needed step forward for Star Fox or another Nintendo franchise. 

Bayonetta 2

It looks completely nuts. Some of the coolest shit I've ever seen happen in a video game and I'm glad it's coming to Wii U. I don't know too much about the original but this just looks like a rush. 

X

They seem to be really excited for this game but they're still not giving an awful lot away. Maybe I need to play Xenoblade Chronicles to understand the hype. Looks alright though. 

Super Smash Brothers Wii U / 3DS

Tears nearly fell. Thank you Nintendo for leaving this til last, the Megaman reveal was fantastic. 

I loved every bit about this trailer. The Animal Crossing intro that confirmed a villager as a character [something I always wanted in Brawl]. The Spirit Tracks level, the Mario 3D Land inspired level and of course Skyloft. It was always going to happen but to see a Smash Brothers match happening in front of it was just something special. 

I think it's a smart move to make the 3DS game kinda cel-shaded as well. I'll be honest, it's the game I'm less hyped for but the trailer made me a little more interested in that version again. 

Smash Bros in HD though. All that chaos is just going to look great. 

And then the reveal. I honestly never thought Megaman would be included but then there he is. He's who the fans wanted and exactly who the fans got. For just a few seconds at E3 all the PS4 vs Xbox One talk was forgotten as everyone at the same time exclaimed 'oh my god, Mega Man is in the new smash bros!'. And it was a happy moment. 

And there it is for another year. A good show that would certainly have gotten a bunch of whoops and cheers if it was in front of an audience. With Pikmin 3 just round the corner and a few other games not even mentioned like the new Mario Golf on 3DS I think it's going to be a great year to be a Ninty fan. 

5 Jobs I Actually Wouldn't Mind Doing part 3 - Trucker

I might not look like your stereotypical trucker but I think I have certain qualities that would make me suitable for the job. I realise that would be perfect line to start my CV if I for some bizarre reason go down this career path in life.

An image of possible future me sitting on my massive fuck off truck

Driving a lorry. It doesn't sound that exciting until you notice there are at least 3 TV shows on at the moment that deal with the very subject. Ice Road Truckers, Holy Truck! It's Eddie Stobart The Show [I forget it's actual name so that'll do for now] and my personal favourite- Shipping Wars on History.

When their lorries aren't veering off the road or missing deadlines to dramatic music it otherwise just looks so relaxing. Just you, your truck and the open road for miles and miles. I find the trip between Aberdeen and Edinburgh exciting enough- the ripple of excitement as you pass Stracathro services or the Horn.  The tense lane change as you enter Dundee, contemplating whether to stop at Tesco Extra for a sandwich or just carry on. Being a lorry driver would be that but all the time and up and down the entire country. A road trip that is kind of your whole life.

There's also the customisation of the cabin. Cabin. that's probably the word. The place where the driver sits. You often see massive Scotland flags draped across the back wall and little mascots on the dashboard. My cabin would be ridiculous. The Hylian Crest from Zelda would be the entire back wall. As many of the first 150 pokemon as I could fit would be crammed onto the dashboard with an ever changing light show constantly happening all around. Here's what I feel it would look like. At this point I remind you I did an entire module on Photoshop last year.

A Friday night's work ladies and gents

But where will I sleep on these long journeys? There's the next exciting part, you get to camp out all the time- in your truck! My family used to have an awesome Voltswagen campervan that we went round Britain in so it'd be like a throwback to those good old days. Sure I wouldn't be staying in a cosy little campsite in Southsea with a little swimming pool and arcade but once I was down for the night it'd feel the same probably. Then in the morning I'd wake up, drive to the nearest Metro for a full English breakfast and be on my way. I can honestly think of worse holidays- and this is a full time job.

There is the crushing loneliness but apparently you get a thing called a driver's mate who gets paid to sit and chat with you as you drive around the country. I might change this entire blog post to Part-3 Drivers Mate. You get paid to just sit back and talk shit as you see the countryside fly by. Would suck if the person you were stuck with were horrible but imagine if they were good banter. Time would fly by.

Also fact fans- Alan Carr was once a driver's mate, I read it in his book. Or maybe Peter Kay's. Either Alan Carr or Peter Kay have at one time been a driver's mate.

In an ideal world I'd have my own truck and be one of the guys on Shipping Wars, that TV show I mentioned before. If you haven't heard of it the basic premise is a few truckers bid to transport a load from one part of America ton another. Whoever is willing to do it for cheapest gets to travel across America with the shipment and get paid for it- what a job!

Can't even tell if this is shopped, they've shipped weirder things

Being a TV show the loads tend to be interesting rather than saaaaay a palette of canned foods that needs to be transported from Asda in Grimsby to Asda in Cardiff. They get camels and go karts and such like. I'd love to look after a camel for a few days, would be great fun I'd imagine. And the person shipping the item usually gets to have a play with the item they're shipping as well. One guy transported a dance machine across the country for example and got to have a go on it when he got it to the destination. I'm just thinking how weird it would be if the Royal Mail had the same policy, after the postman drops off your new copy of Mario Kart he comes in and plays the Mushroom Cup with you.

And there it is, an entire blog post about trucking without mentioning dogging once, other than this sentence here.

Sure it'd be lonely, cramped and repetitive but there's something weirdly appealing about driving up and down the country for a living and if for some reason I ever own a massive truck I'll consider it as a career option.

Film Reviews: http://elephantchrisfilmreviews.blogspot.co.uk/

The Grand Film Adventure- 36-40

A very mixed bag these last 5. And hey only 10 left! There will come a time soon where there'll be no more posts of me talking about old films you've probably seen so just prepare yourself for that.
The five films I talk about this post are:

The Never Ending Story
The King's Speech
Reservoir Dogs
Braveheart
Dead Poets Society

The Never Ending Story
Just what the hell was that? I mean really for something quite mainstream The Never Ending Story has some seriously weird stuff in it. It makes Labyrinth look like Schindlers List. Probably. Never seen it.
I thought I knew where it was going. The boy would read the book and he'd meet fantasy characters that mirrored those in his real life. Nope- just a bunch of unrelated characters who were creepy just for the sake of it. I realise none were even memorable because the only one I can think of is the giant rock guy that served no purpose whats so ever.
It was an adventure and I can see how it'd maybe hold a child's attention for a bit while at the same time mentally scarring them but at the same time it's like the whole story was visioned up by one as well. There was a bit where he had to walk between two big statues that might zap him? It was like a child describing a nightmare he'd just had.
There's the dragon and the song which is what everyone remembers. To be honest if you took that bit out where he's flying about on the dragon and 'THE NEVER ENDING STOOOORRRRYYY AAHAAAHHA' is playing nice and loud and made it music-video sized the film would've done the same job in terms of her memorable it was and saved me 87 minutes.
Sorry if this ruins anyone's childhood memory of this film. I just really disliked it.
It also ends with words along the lines of 'then a load of other stuff happened before he went home'. Then the credits roll. Just what.
4/10

The King's Speech
Wasn't too interested in this until it got compared to The Iron Lady in the way it's a British drama about a powerful figure aimed at the over sixties market. It's a genre I've found out I quite like and this film kinda confirms it.
Every award Colin Firth won for this film was well deserved. I felt so sorry for him the whole way through, even when he was being a royal cock to his similarly well acted speech therapist. I can understand how some people called it a little boring but it was never supposed to be Fast And The Furious 5. It was a look into the life of a huge historical figure. And it was heartfelt and very touching- just like Maggie T's film.
My favourite part was when King Albert/Edward VI [for all you history fans] is introduced to the speech therapists wife. The look of complete confusion and bewilderment on her face is fantastic.
A very nice uplifting film. And her from Outnumbered is in it as well. Not given as many funny lines but she's there none the less.
A strong 8/10.

Reservoir Dogs
I finished watching this film thinking it was alright, not fantastic, just alright. Something strange has happened since watching Reservoir Dogs and writing this however. I like it a hell of a lot more now than I did just after watching it for some reason. Maybe it was because it was so good in comparison to Braveheart [more on that soon] but every time I think of it I just think 'yeah that was a really good film'.
Needlessly disturbing in parts I thought. That's my main criticism-  sure it's memorable but when the cop is tied to the chair and Mr.Blonde is wandering round him with a knife- it unnerved me more than I like to feel when watching a film. Especially in time to Stuck In The Middle With You or whatever the songs called.
I never really understood why people go on about Quentin Tarantino dialogue but now I kinda do. It's believable, like the conversations people actually have. Not sure they need giant extended scenes to themselves but for some reason they stick. Why do I still know that Mr.Pink doesn't like to tip? I don't know, but I do.
Also comes in at ninety minutes- perfect film length.
8/10

Braveheart
Sorry all of Scotland, I wasn't a fan of this at all. I should maybe be more patriotic but the sad truth is I'm just not. If anything I was siding with the English through most of it.
Perhaps the biggest problem I had with it was the Chris Martin favourite- the silly near 3 hour long length. I suppose if it's based on actual events in history they can only compress it so much. But the thing is, I hear it's not. A lot of it is made up or changed for the purposes of cinema so if they're changing history about already why not make the film shorter as well?
There wasn't a single memorable character and I didn't care who died in the half impressive if needlessly violent battle scenes. They made the English overly posh and snooty while making the Scots all loud and what I'd call 'lad-ish', showing their arses and shouting when they got onto the battlefield. The aim was to get you on Scots side as nobody likes a well spoken posh person but I just ended up disliking the Scots more. It was like watching Road Wars where the makers of the show tried to get you on the side of the drunken twat with his trousers down in the middle of the high street.
There are worse films out there but I just found it all a bit dull for a big budget historical epic.
A generous 6/10.

Dead Poets Society
A strange one this but fairly enjoyable, especially near the end.
A bit full of itself for it's own good but on the whole quite touching. All the aforementioned snooty English people from Braveheart are here but in younger form and they get taught by Robin Williams about how to take life by the reigns and live life in the moment! By kinda teaching them poetry.
It's nice seeing the boys start to loosen up and see there's more to life than doing exactly what their Dads tell them to do. Robin Williams puts on a good performance as well and it's not too hard to see why the class end up liking him so much.
It has a bit of Catcher In The Rye feeling really, the boys fed up with life and wanting to do something about it.
The big 'event' in the movie a bit sudden and almost out of nowhere but the direction the film takes after it really makes it something special. You see how the boys have changed and how what Robin Williams has taught them has changed them. I've always wondered why the 'Oh Captain My Captain' scene is so famous but I can see why now. It's quite moving. Not Les Miserables moving but moving none the less.
8/10

I review films now also- here's the link
http://www.elephantchrisfilmreviews.blogspot.co.uk/

5 Jobs I Actually Wouldn't Mind Doing part 2 - Jockey

I'll be honest, I have this image in mind. 

Being Link from The Legend of Zelda isn't really a job though so being a jockey is the next best thing. 

I've always quite fancied horse riding. Again this is based solely on playing Zelda, riding across Hyrule Field shooting arrows at monsters and taking Moblins off giant warthogs with my sword. Same in Red Dead Redemption, there's something just very satisfying about riding a horse full pelt across a big area of land. It feels like that in video games anyway so it's presumably exactly the same in real life. 

I'm also kinda the right height to be a jockey although its perhaps the only profession where I'd be one of the taller people there. I would also need to lose a bit of weight so the horse isn't all weighed down but I'd just make sure the horse I rode was a big strong one like the one from Animal Farm that gets turned into glue in the end. Spoilers btw. 

Then there's the whole race aspect which is hugely exciting. When I watched the Grand National this year I just thought how great it must feel to be that jockey leading the pack feeling smug as hell as he crossed the finishing line. The closest feeling I can imagine to it is being on the winning train on the Grand National roller coaster in Blackpool and I can assure you that's a satisfying feeling. 

The Grand National at Blackpool has more in common with the real Grand National than you might think. There's the obvious race similarity, the ride is probably just as rough as actually riding a horse for 20 minutes and judging by Blackpool's track record with their health and safety there's quite a high chance of death as well. 

Riding a horse- basically the same as going on this ride

You're not just racing for a laugh either. You ride in the knowledge that 1000s of people have bet money on you to win and if you do you've made their day. You've ruined everyone else's day who didn't bet on you but it's best not to think about them- the people who believed in you are being rewarded. 

You get to create a bit of a brand for yourself and your horse as well which could be fun, choosing your colours and stuff. A bit like Pimp My Ride but with horses. I understand the jockey isn't usually the one who owns the race horse, it's usually some millionaire who owns it just because, but I'm sure the jockey must have some say in the matter. I wouldn't be too excited about wearing the bright colours you see the jockeys wearing but everyone else riding would be wearing stupid colours as well so you wouldn't feel too bad. It'd be like at a nudist beach when you forget you're naked because everyone else is as well. Not that I've ever been to an nudist beach. 

You'd get to hang out at the race course when you weren't riding too which I think just looks great. All that over the top poshness and women in ridiculous hats. John Mccririck from Celebrity Big Brother would be there to provide a bit of a laugh and then you'd pop up to the channel 4 studio and have a chat with Clare Balding. Living the good life. 

I'd be rubbing shoulders with high society like this

I'd try and form a strong bond with my horse as well just like Link and Epona or Attreyu and his horse in The Never Ending Story, even though he only rode him for like 3 minutes in the film [more on that next Grand Film Adventure post]. I dislike that so many horses are given ridiculous names that make no sense. My horse would be called something awesome. The favourite in this year's Grand National was called Sea Bass- why?! How could someone possibly call their horse Sea Bass and think 'yeah that's a good name, very horse like, connotations of speed there'. 

So in short- racing would be exciting, I'd get to hang out with posh people and form a bond with a horse. Sounds pretty good to me. 

The Grand Film Adventure- 31 - 35

I went off track with the list for a while but that's 5 more films seen. If anyone can help me out with obtaining Silence of the Lambs, Fantasia, Blade Runner, Dead Poet's Society, The Big Lebowski or Pulp Fiction it would be appreciated. 
Films I'm discussing this post are:
Ferris Bueller's Day off
Die Hard
Batman [1989]
Inception
Ghostbusters

Ferris Bueller's Day off
I expected American Pie in the 80s and what I got was Saved by the Bell. Not that this is a bad thing at all, it was just something totally different from what I thought it'd be. I thought it was enjoyable enough but for all it's referenced and talked about I didn't find it that funny.
It was fun to see what they got up to on their day off but it kinda reminded me of that episode of Hey Arnold when they bunk off school, go on a little adventure and then everything returns to normal. Ferris Bueller's Day Off is that episode of Hey Arnold spread over ninety minutes.
 Maybe I'm being harsh. It could possibly be because I found Ferris Bueller quite unlikable. I couldn't really relate to him, even my sixth year self. He was just a little too smug for my liking. Especially on the cover of the DVD. 
The film is noted for it's constant breaking of the 4th wall which brings you closer into the film but since then it's been done quite a few times like in the aforementioned Saved by the Bell. Aforementioned ladies and gentlemen- possibly the longest word I know. 
A fun little ride, half nostalgic to being sixteen, I'd give it a 7. 

Die Hard
The film that started this list. If I had a penny for every person who's said 'you've never seen Die Hard?!' in my life I'd have a good 7p or something. But now I have. And it was pretty good. 
People call it the pinnacle of action movies and I suppose they have a point, it does sum up the action movie genre. Guns are fired, bad guys get shot, explosions happen and Bruce Willis is pretty badass throughout. 
The thing I remember most from this film is Alan Rickman. I've only ever seen him in Harry Potter so was good to see him in something else. He does a very good job of being a villain. 
Compared to Die Hard 5 that just came out this film is fantastic. I really got behind John McClane in this first film and wanted him to succeed. In Die Hard 5 I couldn't care less. 
Have an 8 Die Hard for being so good in comparison. 

Batman 

Another Tim Burton film, the third and final one on the list. And I gotta say he's disappointed me a little, Edward Scissorhands is a world away from everything else I've seen. 
I enjoyed Batman, it was very enjoyable little ride. Its just a shame that Batman has been done much better recently both in film and game form. 
As much as I'm not the Dark Knight's biggest fan I can still appreciate that it's a much deeper complex film than this and it makes it more compelling to watch. I feel the Batman series needs that very dark element to it to set it apart from other super hero films and the Christopher Nolan trilogy kinda nailed it. This Batman seems a little more light-hearted and just not as interesting to watch. Not saying it's bad but this is just a good film- the Nolan films are seen as masterpieces. 
It does feel more like the Arkham games which is also unfortunate again as I see them as near perfect. Nicholson as the joker is great but I kept thinking how much better the joker in the games is. It's wrong to keep constantly comparing but that's what my brain kept doing. 
Without this film I doubt both the films and games would have existed however. This is when Batman was finding itself, halfway between the silliness of the sixties TV series and the ultra-dark n' deep world of the Dark Knight. 7. 

Inception
I have a problem. I have no idea how to handle this...what are these things anyway? Mini reviews?
Inception is a film you really need to pay attention to. Some say you need to watch it at least twice to even half understand whats going on. I saw it half in the background while playing Candy Crush Saga. And the worst bit? I've not even seen the end. Technically it shouldn't even be on here yet but the film is like 2 and  a half hours long- i'll talk about what I saw.
Cool shit. That's what I saw for the most part. Cool shit and a load of speaking which might as well have been in Russian. What is a totem? Why can they all go into each others dreams? I should have really paid attention.
The first bit when they're escaping the dream that ends with Leo Di Caprio almost getting drowned was very clever- I half understood what was going on there. Every time their dreams changed depending on what was going on in the real world was verah nice.
Then there was that really quite incredible fight scene when the van was rolling. That's what I remember when I think of Inception. None of the story- just that really really cool bit there.
This is the first film I can't honestly rate- it doesn't seem right. I might put it on the next film list as well so I can watch it properly.

Ghostbusters
The theme tune is now playing in your head. The music is more memorable than the film which is never the best sign.
Another 80s sorta-family film that plays around with the sometimes good, sometimes hilarious special effects of that time. It was good fun, all the ghostbusters were goofy and likable. I got a little confused with the story, folks getting possessed and ghosts popping out of places for no apparent reason. But the story wasn't really the point. The point was to show antics. Zapping marshmallow men with ray guns, running away from a hilarious CGI dog thing, show some cool spooky stuff that will likely traumatize children.
It passed really quick for me which is always a plus. There was never a point I felt like it dragged and the zaniness kept coming scene after scene.
I believe the film is so popular due to the song but maybe I missed something deeper. I  give it a 7.

Only 3 more posts like this and it'll be all done! Can't say I'm enthused about some of the films I've not seen yet but lets hope they surprise me.