I watch Disney's A Country Coyote Goes To Hollywood and write my thoughts

Here we go, Walt Disney, what could go wrong.

Opening credits over the walk of fame. Huge nostalge back to California. It's barely changed other than the big old Hooters across the street.
They're now singing a fun little song about Hollywood while coyotes howl along. AND THERE'S A FUCKING RACOON IN THE SWIMMING POOL!

Yep this is ace. The coyotes continue to go off their heads in time to the music.
The narrator is calling the coyote a coyOTE. Not coyoteeee. The film's first downside.
They have named the coyote Chico. We're back on track.
Chico is being chased and has found a friendly van driver to save him. It's essentially footage of a coyote running wildly round the desert as the camera pans slowly towards the back of the van.
Shots now of the terrified coyote in the back of the van, it's not got a clue what's going on.

They've definitely gone through about 7 different coyotes at this stage.
They've now blasted some hot steam just feet away from Chico. He continues to look terrified.
He's now in that bit from Grease with the car chase. There are now shots of coyotes scurrying through the storm drains. These coyotes all Chico of course.
Some physical humour as Chico steals a golfers golf ball. This amuses me more than it should.

The film makers now attempt to try and choke Chico with the gold ball. I'm guessing the coyote count at this point must be about 20 deep.
He's on the Hollywood sign now.
GASP. A possible love interest for Chico now. That looks exactly like Chico himself.
It's being made to look like he's met some friends and they're all getting on. Pretty adorable.
There are quite obviously production team members waving sticks and shouting at these coyotes so they run in the right direction.
They've trained the coyotes to open bottles. This is actually quite impressive. If there was a Chico the coyote show at Disneyland I'd definitely watch it.

It's gone a bit GTA5 now as the coyotes plan a heist on a house in the LA hills.
A coyote is a cross between a fox and a dog I've realized. The Fox and the Hound acts as this films prequel.
More chasing from the dog from Tom and Jerry. Well more Marmaduke. It's sad to know that that dog almost definitely caught that coyote a few times during filming.

More shots of the coyotes running about together as if they're friends. Cute.
Great shots of them now smoking out random animals. HOLY SHIT! They just set fire to a harmless toad?! Poor thing.
Actually, what happened to the ace raccoon from the intro? I was expecting him to play a major part.
Surprisingly tense scenes as it looks like Chico and pals may be burnt alive. More smoke is blown into their face. Real whimpering is heard.

Luckily one of the coyotes has manned a fire fighting plane and is putting out the fire. And they're now pouring some kind of toxic powder stuff directly onto the coyotes. Coyote count at this stage - 50.
OH- there's the love interest.
The music is getting a bit sexy. It's getting a bit weird.
They're adorably kissing and jumping around each other now. Everything but the humping.

'And that was Chico's que to pop the question'. Film of the year. Chris certified.
Now immediate baby Chicos. Chico's wife has baggage obviously.
My god. The story is now legit that the girl coyote was a whore who was only interested in dumping her children on the man. #reallifesatire.
Quite majestic looking animals. Animals that would almost definitely rip you apart if you went near them.
The humans are now trying to trap the coyotes. The coyotes are too clever obviously though.
Aaaand they've caught him.

It's fine though as whore-coyote's kids are trying to help him.
Oh wait they've failed.
Here comes the human to put the coyote out of it's misery and end the film. Genuine feels.
They're driving away with him in the cage. Oh noooo.
Being Disney the human was actually good and Chico has been returned home.
But he's had a taste of Hollywood! He wants to go back. Reminds me a bit of me last summer.
Oh shit there's now a van going to San Francissco. Please let there be a sequel.
O wait not San Fran. NEW YORK!

And so ends a Country Coyote Goes To Hollywood. Excellent ending, Excellent film.

My film month - January '15

Stop it everyone, stop being sad I don't write film reviews all the time any more. I fell behind and failed to catch up. 

But wait. Is this me starting up the review site again? Is this the beginning of a new era of film reviews?!?!?

Sadly not, well kinda. I'm going to write about the films this January though because my god it's been good. Taken 3, American Sniper...I saw neither of them. I did however see the following.

The Theory of Everything started the year on a high. It could have easily been very pandering and have an arseload of forced emotion. LOOK HOW SAD HIS LIFE IS! etc. But it came naturally. Like Tom Hanks as Disney in Mr.Banks, Eddie Redmayne just became Stephen Hawking, I had to remind myself at times it wasn't actually the man himself. He deserves an Oscar. If the Oscars made any sense.

And it was emotional. Good emotional though though, it came naturally. There's slowish bit but there's not much the film makers can do about that when it's the guy's actual life, we all have uneventful times. 

The very same day I saw Into The Woods. It's fairly split opinion but I thought it was really great. The first 2 thirds anyway. The atmosphere was perfect for the type of musical it was. And the songs for the most part were very enjoyable, highlights being Agony, Stay With Me and the stunning 15 minute opening epic. Without spoiling it, it'd be a perfect experience if it ended at the part that made sense. The stuff after that all got a bit muddled but it was my no means terrible. Excellent start, meh finish, not enough to ruin a great movie musical.

Speaking of Disney they can do no wrong at the moment. Big Hero 6 is fantastic. It's not Frozen but still very much Wreck It Ralph which is no bad thing. It was a Disney, Marvel movie featuring Fall Out Boy music. if it was set in a Zelda themed theme park it'd be my entire life. 

The animation short at the beginning was as per worth price of admission alone. Disney put every other animation studio to shame just now, no exceptions. 

Topping off the month was  Kingsman The Secret Service which was a mix of the Alex Rider books, Kick Ass and a James Bond parody. And it was near perfection. Not often a film can make you laugh out loud hard one minute while leaving you open mouthed at impossible looking action the next. The action moves along like a freight train (METAPHORS!) and every plot setting scene is immediately followed by some incredible looking ridiculousness. It takes some brave twists and turns too. Highly recommended. 

inconcuushion

The Theory of Everything - 8

Into The Woods - 8

Big Hero 6 - 9

The Kingsman - 9

I might make this a monthly thing, shall see in next month. February so far has The Interview and the main event- 50 Shades of Grey. Not tried my hand at a porn review before so should be interesting. 

Top 10 Films I Watched in 2014

Well it's not E3 so it must be a top 10 films list!

For me 2014 was a bit disappointing film-wise. Or so I thought before compiling the list of movies for this year's countdown. If I still rated films 1-10 I wouldn't give any 10s. But there's a couple of strong 9s. And the rest are definitely 8s.

There's a few films I didn't see this year either that could have possibly made the list. Edge of Tomorrow (or the much better named Live Die Repeat) was apparently fantastic as well as  Nightcrawler and Gone Girl. This as always is just a hugely subjective, bias list of the films I saw this year. My pretend critic days are over. For now anyway.

I'll throw out a few honourable mentions. I saw Non-Stop recently and it was a great way to spend an afternoon. In the same way, Jack Ryan was a surprisingly fun popcorn-film.
I also really wanted to include The Hobbit Part 3 on here but sadly it just missed out. Not a bad film at all but I think it hit it's peak with Smaug in Part 2.

So with that here's the top 10 films I saw in 2014.


10.The Inbetweeners 2

I expected the worst and ended up laughing a lot more than I thought I would. Sure it's not as good as the TV show or the first film but there are definitely shades of what made The Inbetweeners so good initially all the way through this. For the sole reason that the film was so much better than what I expected, it makes it's way onto the list. The Inbetweeners have survived the their run without a single bad movie or episode.

Best bit: As much as everyone remembers the toilet humour based water slide segment, I laughed hard at the rape whistle scene. I felt it was the closest to the humour that was present in the early series.

9.The Raid 2

The Raid 2 is totally nuts and makes every western action film look a bit silly in comparison. Again while not quite as good as the first one, The Raid 2 is pretty stunning to watch. The fight scenes look completely real, I found myself asking myself again and again how people weren't actually getting hurt on set. A bit story heavy at the start but the action more than makes up for it. Brutal stuff.

Best bit: After a slow start shit starts to really go down in prison. That first fight in the mud is where you realise that you're dealing with more than just a lazy CG heavy action film.

8.The Wolf of Wall Street

A fantastic performance by Leonardo DiCaprio that makes a 3 hour run time feel like 2. And a half maybe. Yeah it's too long but it's still keeps your interest til the end. Leo's character is the such an asshole yet somehow he's remarkably cool. I kind of want to be him while at the same time properly not.

Best bit: The drug scene stands out as the films funniest moment. Jonah Hill making it all the better.

7.X-Men: Days of Future Past

The first of some great super hero films we got this year. For me it was possibly the best in the whole X-men series, great action, humour, incredible cast. The problem I find with X-Men films is that there are so many of them no one really gets a chance to shine. And while it's still the case for the most part in DOFP many of the characters such as McAvoy and Lawrence really stand out.

Best bit: The Quicksilver section while feeling a bit disjointed to the rest of the movie had a really great end pay off in the escape scene.

6.Guardians of the Galaxy

People seem to be in 2 camps with Guardians. Either the 'it was very good' camp or the 'it was EXCEPTIONALLY good!' camp. I unfortunately fall into the first but that's no bad thing. Marvel are on form once again here and I hope it's the start in a long series of films. It's a modern day (good) Star Wars, ignoring episode 7 which is coming out this year.

Best bit: The prison escape balanced action with comedy perfectly. It was chaotic, fun and a contributing factor to why it was one of the biggest box-office hits this year.

5. Mockingjay Part 1 

It's a half a film but half of a very good film. if you were worried a Hunger Games movie wouldn't work without a Hunger Games you need to worry no more. Mockingjay part 1 shifts the focus to the politics of the world they live in and the lack of action is made up for in the scenes where Katniss and district 13 prepare for the final revolution. I have high hopes for part 2.

Best bit: The actiony bit in the trailer ends up being one of the only actiony bits in the film. But it's still fantastic edge of your seat stuff. The shot of the concrete tower slowly falling over is probably my favourite in the film.

4. A Million Ways To Die In The West

It's this years controversial choice. But honestly, I've not laughed this hard at a film in a long time. I was told a lot of the jokes fall flat but for me I found myself laughing all the way through. It's like a 2 hour Family Guy special set in the wild west. I'm sure that sounds like hell for some but for me I couldn't get enough.

Best bit: The moustache song. That is all.

3. The Amazing Spiderman 2

This split opinion but I honestly thought it was one of the best Spiderman films there's been, Tobey Maguire spideys included. Andrew Garfield still plays the character perfectly and the action scenes are in my opinion pretty stunning. Electro was a great villain and as much as The Green Goblin is a bit tacked on at the end it provides the film with a fantastic ending that pulls on the heart strings. 

Best bit: The emotional end scene. Oh and the Times Square bit was very impressive. 

2. Captain America: The Winter Soldier

Marvel created a film that didn't put a foot wrong. It's a tricky job to follow in the footsteps of Iron man or Thor when your super power is quite unspectacular. But bringing SHIELD into the story, making Black Widow interesting and punctuating the film with some fantastic action sequences I think Captain America 2 has become one of Marvel's strongest films. Top 3 for me at least. 

Best bit: Any scene where The Cap was kicking ass was hugely enjoyable which probably made up a good 50% of the movie. 

1.Dawn Of The Planet Of The Apes

The sequel to one of my favourite films of all time had big boots to fill. But it filled them well. The 10 years later scenario was a great direction to go in I thought and the disputes with both the human and ape societies kept me gripped. The story constantly kept me guessing and the action set-pieces really paid off. I now have to worry about Apes prequel 3 as it could potentially ruin a franchise that has become one of my favourites in all of film. Let's hope it doesn't. 

Best bit: I remember sitting in the cinema watching an ape dual-wielding machine guns and thinking this scene probably won't be matched in terms of awesome this year. I was not wrong. 



And now 2015. Jurassic World, 2 Pixar films, Star Wars, Avengers...I hope to see them all in next year's list.

Nintendo's E3 2014

Good old Reggie

I don't write as much as I should any more but E3 is always a time for big discussion. Or in this case me just saying what I thought about it this year.

After looking back at the final announcements I'd say I'm semi-happy about the outcome of this year's E3 for Nintendo. But it didn't start out that way. After watching the digital event I had to admit I felt let down. Annoyed even.

Nintendo are in trouble- even as a big fan I won't lie about that fact. Nobody can get behind the idea of the Wii U, the 3DS is hardly the success the DS was and there are a limited number of fan-favourite franchises on the horizon. The key to fixing these problems I thought would be simple. Just make the games that people have long talked about and have said 'how cool would it be if Nintendo made...'.

Sad lol :(

An example of such games are-

Pokemon Snap 2 - Everybody wants this. Everybody. There is no greater use of the Wii U gamepad and if there's one thing we all know it's that Pokemon sells!

A new 2D Metroid- Metroid Dread was at one point happening and everyone was stoked for it.

A futuristic Zelda - Bring some new life to the Zelda franchise.

Mario Galaxy 3, F Zero in HD, franchise crossovers - just things that would get people talking.


The Digital Event did none of this. It wasn't a train wreck but my god was it underwhelming.

Going through it step by step.

I thought it had a strong start. The Robot Chicken shorts showed that Nintendo aren't afraid to poke fun at themselves and know that it's time for a change of pace and direction. 'There are no new Mario games this year' peaks interest. No Mario this year? What direction will they go in?! What franchises will we see?

A Yoshi game, the mini-game from Mario 3D World and errr... Mario Maker. No Mario then.

The choice of Smash Bros characters to reveal was a little odd as well. I thought the Miis were okay to start the show slowly but then to finish the event with a Lady Palutena reveal was absurd. 'OMG PALUTENA WILL BE IN THE NEW SMASH BROS!?' tweeted no one.

Twas a hell of an anime though

I personally go into E3 every year anticipating the big reveals so I was disappointed how much time was spent on games we already knew existed. The news that Midna is playable in Hyrule Warriors was fantastic but I wasn't bothered about hearing all that info on Yoshi, X or Bayonetta 2. New trailers and gameplay was nice to see but I wanted new games!

Amiibo had to be there, I understand this. But as a 23 year old man it'd didn't interest me too much. What self respecting 23 year old still plays with toys? Apart from Lego. Lego is different.

And now to the most positive aspect of the digital event- New Zelda. It looked stunning but I was kind of hoping for something more...epic. Look at the reveal trailer for Twilight Princess for example. I'm sure a trailer like that will come soon but it was just a little disappointing to see only 20 seconds of moving footage after the initial excitement of 'holy shit new Zelda!'

This might not be Link, scandal

Splatoon looked cool but had far too much importance put on it. Like if Dillon's Rolling Western had a 10 minute feature a few years ago.

And that was kind of it for the digital event. That was all a bit mehNEW STAR FOX! Coming to Wii U! Pac Man is in Smash Bros! Surprise!

Why was no importance put on this info? Pac Man is a huge reveal, I'd say as big as Mega Man. Even now, fan's who watched the digital event are still unaware of the announcement that came after.

The best newcomer imo

And no Star Fox footage at all? They got away with showing the bare minimum of Zelda, I'd be okay with seeing the same for Star Fox.

There are good years and bad years for Nintendo at E3 and I sadly feel this year's was on the latter end of the scale. We still have one or two things to look forward to in the coming year though with Smash Bros and Hyrule Warriors coming soon.

Until next year Nintendo. And all the Directs in between.

Top 10 films I saw in 2013

It's odd that I look back at 2013 as a somewhat disappointing year in film because in reality it has been anything but. Making this years list has been far more challenging than last years. Maybe it's because summer was a bit of a non-event in terms of massive memorable blockbusters. I just think Man of Steel when I think of summer which was pretty meh.

The year started very strong however and had a great finish as well. I've only been writing reviews since April but I've been scoring films for years and this year I have thrown out more 9s and 10s than any other year.

At this point I gives some honourable mentions to some truly great films that just missed out on making the list. So take a bow- Captain Phillips, Wreck-It-Ralph, Gangster Squad, Gravity, Fast and Furious 6, Rush, World War Z, Thor 2 and Hitchcock. Great films I'd happily watch again.

Also I've not seen Frozen yet so bare that in mind.

So here it is- the top 10 films I saw in 2013.

10.The Look of Love

I really hoped this would be on my top 10 list and I can honestly say I think it warrants this position. There's a chance you've never heard of it as it was only out for about a week. The Look of Love is a British film about the life of Paul Raymond who at one point was the richest man in Britain. How did he get so rich? Porn, magazines, clubs, smutty shows- it sounds a bit smutty and for some of the film it was. But it actually went much deeper and explored his family life and the toll it took on him and the people around him. You wouldn't expect a film about Steve Coogan playing a porn mogul to have you in tears yet as the credits roll there was an unquestionable lump in my throat.

Best bit- As soon as Raymond starts his 'slide' as his lifestyle all gets a bit much there's some surprisingly emotional moments.

 Review-
 http://www.elephantchrisfilmreviews.blogspot.co.uk/2013/04/the-look-of-love_29.html

9.Warm Bodies

So much more than just 'Twilight with zombies' Warm Bodies was a surprisingly heart-warming film that felt quite British as much as the film was shot in the states. The relationship between Julie and Nicholas Holt's zombie character was very sweet and the journey they both go on is a joy to watch. It never takes itself too seriously but still produces a great love story. They're probably my favourite movie couple of the year.

Best bit- When R (zombie Holt) is trying to communicate with Julie you really find yourself backing him. He has a lot of character as much as he can barely get his words out.


8. Trance

It's been a good year for James Mcavoy. As well as hugely acclaimed Filth he was in Danny Boyle's mind-bending Trance that was almost too clever for it's own good. It was stylish as hell and there were great performances all round. If you didn't mind getting a bit lost, and by a bit I mean very, during a lot of the film you'll be rewarded with a very satisfying finish.

Best bit- Never quite knowing when the film is over. Questioning if what you're seeing is in fact real or just part of a Trance. It's very clever for a film to be able to make you question that without losing you completely.

7. The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug

The slow middle bit aside the Hobbit gave us some of the most epic scenes in cinema this year courtesy of Smaug the dragon. The action scenes are incredible to watch and the end makes you pine for next years instalment. It's all very epic in every sense of the word.

Best bit- I think it's pretty clear, any scene with Smaug the dragon is mind-blowingly cool.

Review-
http://www.elephantchrisfilmreviews.blogspot.co.uk/2013/12/the-hobbit-desolation-of-smaug.html

6. Iron Man 3

Iron Man 3 split opinion more than any other film I saw this year but I'm glad I was in the 'loved it' category. Iron Man is just badass and the mix of serious action and humour is just something that Marvel does so well. It's like a comic book come to life and there's rarely any slow-down. As for the Mandarin- I had no problem with him as I haven't read the comics but I can understand why some felt a little let down. For me though it was just a nice twist.

Best bit- The Airforce One scene springs to mind. Fun fact- there was no green-screen involved in that scene, they were actual skydivers to make it look authentic.

Review-
http://www.elephantchrisfilmreviews.blogspot.co.uk/2013/04/iron-man-3.html


5. The Hunger Games: Catching Fire

I was worried that the 'The Hunger Games - AGAIN!' premise wouldn't quite work but thankfully it really does and adds to what I'd say is the best film franchise of current times. The overall atmosphere of Catching Fire is what really stands out here and the feeling of gloom and desperation to find some sort of hope is felt by the audience. It  maybe doesn't all wrap up the way you'd like leaves you wanting more which is never a bad thing.

Best bit- That ending where you're not entirely sure what's going on before that cliffhanger. Can't say too much because spoilaz etc but if you saw it you know exactly what I'm talking about.

Review-
http://www.elephantchrisfilmreviews.blogspot.co.uk/2013/11/the-hunger-games-catching-fire.html


4. Kick Ass 2

Summer's saviour- that barely anyone saw. I was never Kick Ass's biggest fan when I saw it but this film turned me. It just feels very original as much as the premise is quite basic. The violence is OTT but I never felt it was disturbingly so and the side story of Hit-Girl trying to fit into normal life turns the film into something brilliant. Chloe Grace Moretz is fantastic and she almost steals the show if it wasn't for the massive hero throw down as the end.

Best bit- It's a bit wrong but the part I find myself remembering more than any other is 'the sick stick'. If you don't know what it is go watch it- through your fingers probably.

3.Saving Mr.Banks

I'm a big Disney fan so it's clear while Saving Mr.Banks appealed to me. It was just all very heartfelt and a constantly interesting look into the Disney studios at the time. You don't often see Disney producing a film like this based at an adult audience about what sounds like an almost dry subject- the arguments between a pernickity older woman and Walt Disney. But it's presented in a wonderful way and makes you watch Mary Poppins in a totally different way.

Best bit- When she finally sees what Walt has done with her treasured book it really gains some 'feels'.

Review-
http://www.elephantchrisfilmreviews.blogspot.co.uk/2013/12/saving-mr-banks.html


2.The Great Gatsby

I was unfamiliar with the actual Great Gatsby story so for me this was me experiencing the book as well as the the incredible style and feel shown in this adaptation of the novel. I just thought the whole thing was pretty beautiful- the visuals, the modern sounds mixed with the 20s era backdrop. Just hearing the dialogue for the first time gave me goosebumps, especially those end lines. Gatsby split opinion but I'm glad I was in the half (quarter) that loved every minute of it.

Best bit- The first of Gatsby's parties really takes your breath away. It makes every party you've ever been to look a bit rubbish.

Review-
http://www.elephantchrisfilmreviews.blogspot.co.uk/2013/06/the-great-gatsby.html


STOP THE PRESSES


After starting this top 10 I did indeed see Frozen. And it was fantastic. So fantastic I can't not include it. Suppose I could just remove the Look of Love but it needs attention since so few people saw it. So here it is- joint second place

2= Frozen

Disney back on form- I just finished the review of Frozen and here it is- http://www.elephantchrisfilmreviews.blogspot.co.uk/2014/01/frozen.html


1. Les Miserables

Not released til January in the UK so it makes my top 10 of 2013. And it doesn't just make it- it rightfully tops it. I like films that make you feel emotion as I've made clear before and Les Miserables had me an absolute mess - no shame. I have no other words than just saying it's just powerful powerful stuff and perhaps the greatest musical ever created.

Best bit- Hearing 'Do You Hear The People Sing' and feeling the goosebumps run up your arms and down your back. Rowsing, Moving, liberating stuff.



And there ends my list of films in 2013. It's tough to make predictions for 2014 but I hope Dawn of The Planet of the Apes doesn't let me down and there's several surprises along the way.

Nintendo at E3 2013

I take no credit for the above image. It is however a thing of beauty. 

I was gutted when I found out I would be working when Nintendo did their Nintendo Direct E3 special. To be honest I wasn't a fan of the move away from the big show they usually put on at E3 and I still think it would have been better to put those trailers in front of 1000s of excited journalists.

That being said I feel this has been one of Nintendo's strongest E3s in a long time. Nothing has made me quite as excited since the Metroid Other M, Mario galaxy 2 double of 2009. 

As many have pointed out they have played pretty safe. But I don't own Nintendo hardware to play a lot of third party titles to be honest. The games they showed weren't totally revolutionary but they do look like a hell of a lot of fun and that's why I'm proud to be a Nintendo fan. 

My inner nerd coming out right now. Not that it was ever a secret. 

So let's have a look at the Nintendo Direct again, bit by bit. 

Pokemon X and Y

So we start with Pokemon X and Y. Breaking us in pretty slow. It's hardly a big reveal but does have some really interesting info like the fairy type pokemon. Lets just not talk too much about Pokemon-amie. That was just a little embarrassing. They played the game down a bit, almost as if it was exclusively for children but it had a ton of new pokemon and just enough new stuff to warrant it being featured. 

Super Mario 3D World

And then mazza's face appeared. Time to get hyped. The first thing that struck me and indeed anyone watching was that it appeared to be Super Mario 3D land but a little bigger. Now it's not like me to talk shit about Nintendo but I dunno, I felt just a little disappointed. With the N64 we had Mario 64 revolutionizing the way 3D platformers are played, GC had Mario Sunshine which was very innovative. Mario Galaxy was an absolute masterpiece that raised the bar for platformers past and present and really made the Wii a must have console. And for the Wii U? A sequel to a 3DS game that wasn't quite as highly rated as other 3D Mario games. An odd move and one that has taken out the awe and sense of 'epic' that used to go along with 3D Mario games. 

Still! I loved Mario 3D Land on 3DS and look forward to more of the same. The cat suit looks like it could be fun and it still has elements of Galaxy in it which made those games so enjoyable. The biggest wave of excitement hit when I saw that Peach was a playable character, something fans wanted in New Super Mario Bros years ago. Even better is how the characters have the abilities they had in Mario Bros 2 which is a great retro reference. 

I can see Mario 3D World going the same way as Mario Bros 2 actually. Not regarded as the best Mario game ever but remembered for being a good time none the less. 

Mario Kart 8

I see Nintendo are going for the plain and simple 'Mario Kart #NUMBER' now. Not a bad thing, any title referencing the 'gimmick' would cheapen it a bit. 

This is the only part of E3 I predicted almost spot on. I always thought they'd have an almost 'Mario Kart Galaxy' game but just wouldn't have a clue how it would look. Well now I know. And it looks hella fun! It's mixed it up just enough to make Mario Kart interesting again. I just worry it'll put off some more casual gamers who will find it too confusing. The joy of Mario Kart is that anyone can pick up and play it. I think parents and grandfolk will be put off as the tracks start to tilt upside down and such. 'ach no, looks too confusing to me, you play though'

For the fans like myself though it's a direction I love that they've gone in. It just makes me wonder what on earth Mario Kart 17 will look like. 

Wii Party U, Wii Fit U and Art Academy

All things I'm uninterested in but can understand why they are there. Never really saw the point in Wii Party when Mario Party exists but it looks kinda fun. No images or trailer for Wii Fit U but the delay seems to suggest they are putting a lot of effort into it. And Art Academy could be a fun time waster, if you're into that sort of thing. The question remains why draw something on the Wii U gamepad when you could just draw it in real life instead? Shirly it's more rewarding. 

3rd Party Games

As said before, I've never been too excited for 3rd part games on any Nintendo system. There's been a few that have been completely amazing but with Nintendo I usually just stick with the favourites. Xbox and PS get the best third party stuff anyway. I'm stoked for Arkham Origins for example but I really don't care which console I play it on. Thought it was a bit cheeky to include Rayman on that sizzle reel as well seeings as Wii U should have had it months ago. I'll give Sonic: The Lost Worlds a look though probably and also Watchdogs, maybe on another console, maybe on Wii U.

And a lot of the eshop stuff looked totally insane, especially the spin the bottle game. DRILL. Wut. Oh and Duck Tales, want to play that to understand what the hype is about. 

Zelda: Windwaker HD

It looks bootiful. More bootiful than I could ever imagined. It's a game where I could happily watch someone else play through and just marvel at how much more amazing a currently amazing looking game can look. 

We got shown clips of the sea and the exterior of the islands but my god just think about some of the bosses. Gohma, the first boss on a 40 inch screen in HD. Goan be epic. 

No confirmation if they will add the two extra dungeons that got rejected from the original but they seem to have no worries in changing things about. I liked the fast-sailing option and the new Tingle message service could be quite funny as it's obviously going to get misused. I look forward to finding all manner of smut on the beach of Windfall Island. 

Wonderful 101

Anything that looks like Pikmin will always be a big hit with me. If this gets reviewed highly it'll be a defiinite purchase, and it's coming soonish as well. 

Donkey Kong Country Tropical Freeze

A fantastic reveal as Donkey Kong Country Returns is possibly my favourite 2D platformer of all time. It's again 'more of the same' but when the original is so good why change much else? 

The inclusion of Dixie Kong is nice and also that there will be underwater levels. The best bit of the whole trailer is the mine-cart section with the realistic swinging plane and storage containers - cannot wait to play these new levels. And the new camera angles will make the game more exciting too. One of the best bits of Returns was when you were showcasing your mad platforming skills while all hell broke loose behind and around you. The different camera angles will hopefully take us even closer to the action. 

How do I feel that this is Retro Studio's Wii U project? Happy...but at the same time a little disappointed. I'm so glad that we're getting another Donkey Kong Country game but thought they might rebooting an old series. And seeings as everything they touch turns to gold it could have been a much needed step forward for Star Fox or another Nintendo franchise. 

Bayonetta 2

It looks completely nuts. Some of the coolest shit I've ever seen happen in a video game and I'm glad it's coming to Wii U. I don't know too much about the original but this just looks like a rush. 

X

They seem to be really excited for this game but they're still not giving an awful lot away. Maybe I need to play Xenoblade Chronicles to understand the hype. Looks alright though. 

Super Smash Brothers Wii U / 3DS

Tears nearly fell. Thank you Nintendo for leaving this til last, the Megaman reveal was fantastic. 

I loved every bit about this trailer. The Animal Crossing intro that confirmed a villager as a character [something I always wanted in Brawl]. The Spirit Tracks level, the Mario 3D Land inspired level and of course Skyloft. It was always going to happen but to see a Smash Brothers match happening in front of it was just something special. 

I think it's a smart move to make the 3DS game kinda cel-shaded as well. I'll be honest, it's the game I'm less hyped for but the trailer made me a little more interested in that version again. 

Smash Bros in HD though. All that chaos is just going to look great. 

And then the reveal. I honestly never thought Megaman would be included but then there he is. He's who the fans wanted and exactly who the fans got. For just a few seconds at E3 all the PS4 vs Xbox One talk was forgotten as everyone at the same time exclaimed 'oh my god, Mega Man is in the new smash bros!'. And it was a happy moment. 

And there it is for another year. A good show that would certainly have gotten a bunch of whoops and cheers if it was in front of an audience. With Pikmin 3 just round the corner and a few other games not even mentioned like the new Mario Golf on 3DS I think it's going to be a great year to be a Ninty fan. 

5 Jobs I Actually Wouldn't Mind Doing part 3 - Trucker

I might not look like your stereotypical trucker but I think I have certain qualities that would make me suitable for the job. I realise that would be perfect line to start my CV if I for some bizarre reason go down this career path in life.

An image of possible future me sitting on my massive fuck off truck

Driving a lorry. It doesn't sound that exciting until you notice there are at least 3 TV shows on at the moment that deal with the very subject. Ice Road Truckers, Holy Truck! It's Eddie Stobart The Show [I forget it's actual name so that'll do for now] and my personal favourite- Shipping Wars on History.

When their lorries aren't veering off the road or missing deadlines to dramatic music it otherwise just looks so relaxing. Just you, your truck and the open road for miles and miles. I find the trip between Aberdeen and Edinburgh exciting enough- the ripple of excitement as you pass Stracathro services or the Horn.  The tense lane change as you enter Dundee, contemplating whether to stop at Tesco Extra for a sandwich or just carry on. Being a lorry driver would be that but all the time and up and down the entire country. A road trip that is kind of your whole life.

There's also the customisation of the cabin. Cabin. that's probably the word. The place where the driver sits. You often see massive Scotland flags draped across the back wall and little mascots on the dashboard. My cabin would be ridiculous. The Hylian Crest from Zelda would be the entire back wall. As many of the first 150 pokemon as I could fit would be crammed onto the dashboard with an ever changing light show constantly happening all around. Here's what I feel it would look like. At this point I remind you I did an entire module on Photoshop last year.

A Friday night's work ladies and gents

But where will I sleep on these long journeys? There's the next exciting part, you get to camp out all the time- in your truck! My family used to have an awesome Voltswagen campervan that we went round Britain in so it'd be like a throwback to those good old days. Sure I wouldn't be staying in a cosy little campsite in Southsea with a little swimming pool and arcade but once I was down for the night it'd feel the same probably. Then in the morning I'd wake up, drive to the nearest Metro for a full English breakfast and be on my way. I can honestly think of worse holidays- and this is a full time job.

There is the crushing loneliness but apparently you get a thing called a driver's mate who gets paid to sit and chat with you as you drive around the country. I might change this entire blog post to Part-3 Drivers Mate. You get paid to just sit back and talk shit as you see the countryside fly by. Would suck if the person you were stuck with were horrible but imagine if they were good banter. Time would fly by.

Also fact fans- Alan Carr was once a driver's mate, I read it in his book. Or maybe Peter Kay's. Either Alan Carr or Peter Kay have at one time been a driver's mate.

In an ideal world I'd have my own truck and be one of the guys on Shipping Wars, that TV show I mentioned before. If you haven't heard of it the basic premise is a few truckers bid to transport a load from one part of America ton another. Whoever is willing to do it for cheapest gets to travel across America with the shipment and get paid for it- what a job!

Can't even tell if this is shopped, they've shipped weirder things

Being a TV show the loads tend to be interesting rather than saaaaay a palette of canned foods that needs to be transported from Asda in Grimsby to Asda in Cardiff. They get camels and go karts and such like. I'd love to look after a camel for a few days, would be great fun I'd imagine. And the person shipping the item usually gets to have a play with the item they're shipping as well. One guy transported a dance machine across the country for example and got to have a go on it when he got it to the destination. I'm just thinking how weird it would be if the Royal Mail had the same policy, after the postman drops off your new copy of Mario Kart he comes in and plays the Mushroom Cup with you.

And there it is, an entire blog post about trucking without mentioning dogging once, other than this sentence here.

Sure it'd be lonely, cramped and repetitive but there's something weirdly appealing about driving up and down the country for a living and if for some reason I ever own a massive truck I'll consider it as a career option.

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