The Grand Film Adventure- 36-40

A very mixed bag these last 5. And hey only 10 left! There will come a time soon where there'll be no more posts of me talking about old films you've probably seen so just prepare yourself for that.
The five films I talk about this post are:

The Never Ending Story
The King's Speech
Reservoir Dogs
Braveheart
Dead Poets Society

The Never Ending Story
Just what the hell was that? I mean really for something quite mainstream The Never Ending Story has some seriously weird stuff in it. It makes Labyrinth look like Schindlers List. Probably. Never seen it.
I thought I knew where it was going. The boy would read the book and he'd meet fantasy characters that mirrored those in his real life. Nope- just a bunch of unrelated characters who were creepy just for the sake of it. I realise none were even memorable because the only one I can think of is the giant rock guy that served no purpose whats so ever.
It was an adventure and I can see how it'd maybe hold a child's attention for a bit while at the same time mentally scarring them but at the same time it's like the whole story was visioned up by one as well. There was a bit where he had to walk between two big statues that might zap him? It was like a child describing a nightmare he'd just had.
There's the dragon and the song which is what everyone remembers. To be honest if you took that bit out where he's flying about on the dragon and 'THE NEVER ENDING STOOOORRRRYYY AAHAAAHHA' is playing nice and loud and made it music-video sized the film would've done the same job in terms of her memorable it was and saved me 87 minutes.
Sorry if this ruins anyone's childhood memory of this film. I just really disliked it.
It also ends with words along the lines of 'then a load of other stuff happened before he went home'. Then the credits roll. Just what.
4/10

The King's Speech
Wasn't too interested in this until it got compared to The Iron Lady in the way it's a British drama about a powerful figure aimed at the over sixties market. It's a genre I've found out I quite like and this film kinda confirms it.
Every award Colin Firth won for this film was well deserved. I felt so sorry for him the whole way through, even when he was being a royal cock to his similarly well acted speech therapist. I can understand how some people called it a little boring but it was never supposed to be Fast And The Furious 5. It was a look into the life of a huge historical figure. And it was heartfelt and very touching- just like Maggie T's film.
My favourite part was when King Albert/Edward VI [for all you history fans] is introduced to the speech therapists wife. The look of complete confusion and bewilderment on her face is fantastic.
A very nice uplifting film. And her from Outnumbered is in it as well. Not given as many funny lines but she's there none the less.
A strong 8/10.

Reservoir Dogs
I finished watching this film thinking it was alright, not fantastic, just alright. Something strange has happened since watching Reservoir Dogs and writing this however. I like it a hell of a lot more now than I did just after watching it for some reason. Maybe it was because it was so good in comparison to Braveheart [more on that soon] but every time I think of it I just think 'yeah that was a really good film'.
Needlessly disturbing in parts I thought. That's my main criticism-  sure it's memorable but when the cop is tied to the chair and Mr.Blonde is wandering round him with a knife- it unnerved me more than I like to feel when watching a film. Especially in time to Stuck In The Middle With You or whatever the songs called.
I never really understood why people go on about Quentin Tarantino dialogue but now I kinda do. It's believable, like the conversations people actually have. Not sure they need giant extended scenes to themselves but for some reason they stick. Why do I still know that Mr.Pink doesn't like to tip? I don't know, but I do.
Also comes in at ninety minutes- perfect film length.
8/10

Braveheart
Sorry all of Scotland, I wasn't a fan of this at all. I should maybe be more patriotic but the sad truth is I'm just not. If anything I was siding with the English through most of it.
Perhaps the biggest problem I had with it was the Chris Martin favourite- the silly near 3 hour long length. I suppose if it's based on actual events in history they can only compress it so much. But the thing is, I hear it's not. A lot of it is made up or changed for the purposes of cinema so if they're changing history about already why not make the film shorter as well?
There wasn't a single memorable character and I didn't care who died in the half impressive if needlessly violent battle scenes. They made the English overly posh and snooty while making the Scots all loud and what I'd call 'lad-ish', showing their arses and shouting when they got onto the battlefield. The aim was to get you on Scots side as nobody likes a well spoken posh person but I just ended up disliking the Scots more. It was like watching Road Wars where the makers of the show tried to get you on the side of the drunken twat with his trousers down in the middle of the high street.
There are worse films out there but I just found it all a bit dull for a big budget historical epic.
A generous 6/10.

Dead Poets Society
A strange one this but fairly enjoyable, especially near the end.
A bit full of itself for it's own good but on the whole quite touching. All the aforementioned snooty English people from Braveheart are here but in younger form and they get taught by Robin Williams about how to take life by the reigns and live life in the moment! By kinda teaching them poetry.
It's nice seeing the boys start to loosen up and see there's more to life than doing exactly what their Dads tell them to do. Robin Williams puts on a good performance as well and it's not too hard to see why the class end up liking him so much.
It has a bit of Catcher In The Rye feeling really, the boys fed up with life and wanting to do something about it.
The big 'event' in the movie a bit sudden and almost out of nowhere but the direction the film takes after it really makes it something special. You see how the boys have changed and how what Robin Williams has taught them has changed them. I've always wondered why the 'Oh Captain My Captain' scene is so famous but I can see why now. It's quite moving. Not Les Miserables moving but moving none the less.
8/10

I review films now also- here's the link
http://www.elephantchrisfilmreviews.blogspot.co.uk/

5 Jobs I Actually Wouldn't Mind Doing part 2 - Jockey

I'll be honest, I have this image in mind. 

Being Link from The Legend of Zelda isn't really a job though so being a jockey is the next best thing. 

I've always quite fancied horse riding. Again this is based solely on playing Zelda, riding across Hyrule Field shooting arrows at monsters and taking Moblins off giant warthogs with my sword. Same in Red Dead Redemption, there's something just very satisfying about riding a horse full pelt across a big area of land. It feels like that in video games anyway so it's presumably exactly the same in real life. 

I'm also kinda the right height to be a jockey although its perhaps the only profession where I'd be one of the taller people there. I would also need to lose a bit of weight so the horse isn't all weighed down but I'd just make sure the horse I rode was a big strong one like the one from Animal Farm that gets turned into glue in the end. Spoilers btw. 

Then there's the whole race aspect which is hugely exciting. When I watched the Grand National this year I just thought how great it must feel to be that jockey leading the pack feeling smug as hell as he crossed the finishing line. The closest feeling I can imagine to it is being on the winning train on the Grand National roller coaster in Blackpool and I can assure you that's a satisfying feeling. 

The Grand National at Blackpool has more in common with the real Grand National than you might think. There's the obvious race similarity, the ride is probably just as rough as actually riding a horse for 20 minutes and judging by Blackpool's track record with their health and safety there's quite a high chance of death as well. 

Riding a horse- basically the same as going on this ride

You're not just racing for a laugh either. You ride in the knowledge that 1000s of people have bet money on you to win and if you do you've made their day. You've ruined everyone else's day who didn't bet on you but it's best not to think about them- the people who believed in you are being rewarded. 

You get to create a bit of a brand for yourself and your horse as well which could be fun, choosing your colours and stuff. A bit like Pimp My Ride but with horses. I understand the jockey isn't usually the one who owns the race horse, it's usually some millionaire who owns it just because, but I'm sure the jockey must have some say in the matter. I wouldn't be too excited about wearing the bright colours you see the jockeys wearing but everyone else riding would be wearing stupid colours as well so you wouldn't feel too bad. It'd be like at a nudist beach when you forget you're naked because everyone else is as well. Not that I've ever been to an nudist beach. 

You'd get to hang out at the race course when you weren't riding too which I think just looks great. All that over the top poshness and women in ridiculous hats. John Mccririck from Celebrity Big Brother would be there to provide a bit of a laugh and then you'd pop up to the channel 4 studio and have a chat with Clare Balding. Living the good life. 

I'd be rubbing shoulders with high society like this

I'd try and form a strong bond with my horse as well just like Link and Epona or Attreyu and his horse in The Never Ending Story, even though he only rode him for like 3 minutes in the film [more on that next Grand Film Adventure post]. I dislike that so many horses are given ridiculous names that make no sense. My horse would be called something awesome. The favourite in this year's Grand National was called Sea Bass- why?! How could someone possibly call their horse Sea Bass and think 'yeah that's a good name, very horse like, connotations of speed there'. 

So in short- racing would be exciting, I'd get to hang out with posh people and form a bond with a horse. Sounds pretty good to me. 

The Grand Film Adventure- 31 - 35

I went off track with the list for a while but that's 5 more films seen. If anyone can help me out with obtaining Silence of the Lambs, Fantasia, Blade Runner, Dead Poet's Society, The Big Lebowski or Pulp Fiction it would be appreciated. 
Films I'm discussing this post are:
Ferris Bueller's Day off
Die Hard
Batman [1989]
Inception
Ghostbusters

Ferris Bueller's Day off
I expected American Pie in the 80s and what I got was Saved by the Bell. Not that this is a bad thing at all, it was just something totally different from what I thought it'd be. I thought it was enjoyable enough but for all it's referenced and talked about I didn't find it that funny.
It was fun to see what they got up to on their day off but it kinda reminded me of that episode of Hey Arnold when they bunk off school, go on a little adventure and then everything returns to normal. Ferris Bueller's Day Off is that episode of Hey Arnold spread over ninety minutes.
 Maybe I'm being harsh. It could possibly be because I found Ferris Bueller quite unlikable. I couldn't really relate to him, even my sixth year self. He was just a little too smug for my liking. Especially on the cover of the DVD. 
The film is noted for it's constant breaking of the 4th wall which brings you closer into the film but since then it's been done quite a few times like in the aforementioned Saved by the Bell. Aforementioned ladies and gentlemen- possibly the longest word I know. 
A fun little ride, half nostalgic to being sixteen, I'd give it a 7. 

Die Hard
The film that started this list. If I had a penny for every person who's said 'you've never seen Die Hard?!' in my life I'd have a good 7p or something. But now I have. And it was pretty good. 
People call it the pinnacle of action movies and I suppose they have a point, it does sum up the action movie genre. Guns are fired, bad guys get shot, explosions happen and Bruce Willis is pretty badass throughout. 
The thing I remember most from this film is Alan Rickman. I've only ever seen him in Harry Potter so was good to see him in something else. He does a very good job of being a villain. 
Compared to Die Hard 5 that just came out this film is fantastic. I really got behind John McClane in this first film and wanted him to succeed. In Die Hard 5 I couldn't care less. 
Have an 8 Die Hard for being so good in comparison. 

Batman 

Another Tim Burton film, the third and final one on the list. And I gotta say he's disappointed me a little, Edward Scissorhands is a world away from everything else I've seen. 
I enjoyed Batman, it was very enjoyable little ride. Its just a shame that Batman has been done much better recently both in film and game form. 
As much as I'm not the Dark Knight's biggest fan I can still appreciate that it's a much deeper complex film than this and it makes it more compelling to watch. I feel the Batman series needs that very dark element to it to set it apart from other super hero films and the Christopher Nolan trilogy kinda nailed it. This Batman seems a little more light-hearted and just not as interesting to watch. Not saying it's bad but this is just a good film- the Nolan films are seen as masterpieces. 
It does feel more like the Arkham games which is also unfortunate again as I see them as near perfect. Nicholson as the joker is great but I kept thinking how much better the joker in the games is. It's wrong to keep constantly comparing but that's what my brain kept doing. 
Without this film I doubt both the films and games would have existed however. This is when Batman was finding itself, halfway between the silliness of the sixties TV series and the ultra-dark n' deep world of the Dark Knight. 7. 

Inception
I have a problem. I have no idea how to handle this...what are these things anyway? Mini reviews?
Inception is a film you really need to pay attention to. Some say you need to watch it at least twice to even half understand whats going on. I saw it half in the background while playing Candy Crush Saga. And the worst bit? I've not even seen the end. Technically it shouldn't even be on here yet but the film is like 2 and  a half hours long- i'll talk about what I saw.
Cool shit. That's what I saw for the most part. Cool shit and a load of speaking which might as well have been in Russian. What is a totem? Why can they all go into each others dreams? I should have really paid attention.
The first bit when they're escaping the dream that ends with Leo Di Caprio almost getting drowned was very clever- I half understood what was going on there. Every time their dreams changed depending on what was going on in the real world was verah nice.
Then there was that really quite incredible fight scene when the van was rolling. That's what I remember when I think of Inception. None of the story- just that really really cool bit there.
This is the first film I can't honestly rate- it doesn't seem right. I might put it on the next film list as well so I can watch it properly.

Ghostbusters
The theme tune is now playing in your head. The music is more memorable than the film which is never the best sign.
Another 80s sorta-family film that plays around with the sometimes good, sometimes hilarious special effects of that time. It was good fun, all the ghostbusters were goofy and likable. I got a little confused with the story, folks getting possessed and ghosts popping out of places for no apparent reason. But the story wasn't really the point. The point was to show antics. Zapping marshmallow men with ray guns, running away from a hilarious CGI dog thing, show some cool spooky stuff that will likely traumatize children.
It passed really quick for me which is always a plus. There was never a point I felt like it dragged and the zaniness kept coming scene after scene.
I believe the film is so popular due to the song but maybe I missed something deeper. I  give it a 7.

Only 3 more posts like this and it'll be all done! Can't say I'm enthused about some of the films I've not seen yet but lets hope they surprise me.