I'm not sure what I expected from the Scottish Fishery Museum. I'm just back from 2 days in Fife and me and my girlfriend needed something to do so we went there. Even with 2 children's activities sheets and a cabinet with something labelled 'Sextant' it was a pretty boring museum as far as museums go. They tried hard but at the end of the day the subject matter is fishery. Its always going to struggle.
We still had the rest of the day left as the museum only took up 20 minutes of our time (as well as £10 from my wallet) so we headed to St.Andrews Aquarium and Meerkat Emporium. Not its official name but its an aquarium with meerkats so it fits.
I'll point out blogger is telling me I'm spelling meerkat wrong. I have tried googling it and it appears to be right. Maybe meerkats are too modern to be recognised by spellcheckers like when you type in iphone or pokemon. We know they pre-date the Lion King at least so they can't be that new.
But I digress.
We headed through Fife, Aile my girlfriend flicking through the pamphlet (pamphlet? really? pamflet shirly?) half excitedly. It was just after Crail Aile announced we had to turn the car around as new for 2012 the St Andrews aquarium and meerkat emporium had a carpet python.
Aile has Slitherphobia which means she has a fear of snakes. I assured her without knowing at all the carpet python would be an optional exhibit. How scary could a carpet python be anyway, it sounds vaguely rude to me.
Let me show you my python. Let me show you my carpet python. Which of those 2 sounds ruder to you?
We arrived just in time for the seal feeding. I felt sorry for all the fish we rushed past to catch it. I imagine all the fish in the tanks hearing people at the ticket office and arranging themselves into different positions around their tanks ready for visitors, big smiles on their faces. I almost felt the catfish's grin disappear from its face as we passed.
Seals are great. Like fat people but cuter and underwater. The man came out with a bucket of fish and they got all excited and swam around waiting for the jolly oirish guy to stop talking to us about 'what a seal is' and to feed them fish. What caused me and Aile a lot of amusement was the seagulls that swooped down into the enclosure next to where the fish were being given out as if almost disguising themselves as seals in the hope of getting fed too. We saw a seagull land right in front of the guy and look up with an expression of 'yeah I'm a seal, what of it?'
Upstairs to the meerkat talk next. Oirish came in fresh from the seals and talked about them while they savagely yanked the tub of tomatoes and grubs out his hands. Meerkats are adorable and no matter how much the man talked about them pissing on each other for identification or watching them attack one another with their bitey little faces, I still wanted to give one a cuddle.
We saw the neglected fish then came the time for Aile to face her fear. There he was- the carpet python...lying motionless in his tree. A big well done to her for looking at it, it was definitely a snake behaving snake like so it took guts to do.
We just had time to see a French family yank a star fish out of a rock pool and we stroked a couple of turtles before exiting through the penguinless gift shop. I know the aquarium didn't have penguins but they're water related and its always an easy gift for Aile.
St Andrews aquarium and meerkat emporium is actually pretty good. If you're ever in Fife and aren't that excited about the many types of clothes fishermen used to wear it's a great way to spend an hour.
I prefer seeing fish swimming in tanks for my amusement rather than finding out how they're caught.
Sunday 22 April 2012
Tuesday 17 April 2012
Sausage and Gravy Fridays
I noticed #primaryschoolmemories was trending on twitter the other day so I thought I'd join in. I thought back to primary school and one thing really stuck out as being memorable and a highlight of my young life.
The friendships I maintained and relationships I
But not really- it was school dinners.
It may just be nostalgia but when I remember the food at Danestone Primary I remember it as the tastiest thing in the world.
Some notable highlights
The chicken pie ladled out of huge industrial trays. By pie it was really a layer of just cooked puff pastry over chicken and sweetcorn in 'white sauce'- chemicals and flavourings essentially. Sounds pretty bleh when I write it but it was delicious! Deeeelicious!
Norfolk grills. Have you ever heard of a Norfolk grill? I'm pretty sure it was a name the school made up. The closest thing I could compare it to would be a burger you get from a van at a festival but with less substance and worse for you. As a person who happily ate nothing but festival burgers at T in the Park last year Norfolk Grill Wednesdays were a treat. You also felt like the hardest child alive when you asked the dinner lady for a NorFUCK grill. I remember primary sevens literally screaming it at the poor lunch ladies faces.
Sausage and gravy Fridays are also worth a mention. They felt it necessary to fill the trays to the brim with gravy before adding sausage. Within the first minute of sitting down everything would be brown and lunch trays would slide uncontrollably down the table with a mind of their own. Another hilarious thing you could do was to stick the trays together- the gravy acting as glue to form blocks of trays up to 3 ft high. Further memories of said 3ft stack sliding down to the end of our table and crashing off the end to the amusment of everyone. I'm laughing at it now, can only imagine what it was like when I was 10.
Most people who had school dinners only had school dinners because their Mums' didn't pack them lunch. For some reason if you had a packed lunch you got to leave early for playtime and if you had a school dinner you had to wait. So not only did you get reminded you had neglectful parents, you missed out half your playtime too.
I however chose to stay for school dinners. Could talk about 5 other things I liked- I seemed to like the stodgy mass produced food and its its the same now. At a BBQ I'll always prefer a Birdseye burger to a 'proper' one.
There were always 2 days that everyone else had school dinners as well. Pizza day and hot dog day. These days were popular because for some reason pizza and hotdogs were incredibly cool. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles eat it, so did Hey Arnold. And hot dogs were American like Kenan and Kel. Always a slight disappointment when you got the microwaved pizza rectangles rather than the gooey slices of pizza in the cartoons.
I'm pretty sure it won't be the same now. It'll be healthy and vegetable curry and falafel. What even is a falafel. And why does it sound so hilarious. Falafel.
It annoys me when I see food adverts aimed at kids now. 'Why not swap your fries for carrot sticks?' asks the giant black woman who does the voiceovers on the Mcdonalds adverts. Its because they're fecking carrot sticks and not delicious chips! Food surely can't be THAT harmful for kids. When i was 12 a favourite thing to do was have a Mcchicken sandwich within a Mcchickcen sandwich. I had a Mcdonalds every Friday and was fed Norfuck grills and hotdogs through the day at school. And I'm not obese now. Festivly plump but not obese.
I havn't even mentioned the puddings. Jam tart, tiffin, sticky-rasin bake things and the king of puddings - jelly cubes. If anyone knows how to prepare those jelly cubes with the normal jelly on bottom and 'mystery' jelly on top please prepare one for me. You will be my favourite person forever.
The friendships I maintained and relationships I
But not really- it was school dinners.
It may just be nostalgia but when I remember the food at Danestone Primary I remember it as the tastiest thing in the world.
Some notable highlights
The chicken pie ladled out of huge industrial trays. By pie it was really a layer of just cooked puff pastry over chicken and sweetcorn in 'white sauce'- chemicals and flavourings essentially. Sounds pretty bleh when I write it but it was delicious! Deeeelicious!
Norfolk grills. Have you ever heard of a Norfolk grill? I'm pretty sure it was a name the school made up. The closest thing I could compare it to would be a burger you get from a van at a festival but with less substance and worse for you. As a person who happily ate nothing but festival burgers at T in the Park last year Norfolk Grill Wednesdays were a treat. You also felt like the hardest child alive when you asked the dinner lady for a NorFUCK grill. I remember primary sevens literally screaming it at the poor lunch ladies faces.
Sausage and gravy Fridays are also worth a mention. They felt it necessary to fill the trays to the brim with gravy before adding sausage. Within the first minute of sitting down everything would be brown and lunch trays would slide uncontrollably down the table with a mind of their own. Another hilarious thing you could do was to stick the trays together- the gravy acting as glue to form blocks of trays up to 3 ft high. Further memories of said 3ft stack sliding down to the end of our table and crashing off the end to the amusment of everyone. I'm laughing at it now, can only imagine what it was like when I was 10.
Most people who had school dinners only had school dinners because their Mums' didn't pack them lunch. For some reason if you had a packed lunch you got to leave early for playtime and if you had a school dinner you had to wait. So not only did you get reminded you had neglectful parents, you missed out half your playtime too.
I however chose to stay for school dinners. Could talk about 5 other things I liked- I seemed to like the stodgy mass produced food and its its the same now. At a BBQ I'll always prefer a Birdseye burger to a 'proper' one.
There were always 2 days that everyone else had school dinners as well. Pizza day and hot dog day. These days were popular because for some reason pizza and hotdogs were incredibly cool. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles eat it, so did Hey Arnold. And hot dogs were American like Kenan and Kel. Always a slight disappointment when you got the microwaved pizza rectangles rather than the gooey slices of pizza in the cartoons.
I'm pretty sure it won't be the same now. It'll be healthy and vegetable curry and falafel. What even is a falafel. And why does it sound so hilarious. Falafel.
It annoys me when I see food adverts aimed at kids now. 'Why not swap your fries for carrot sticks?' asks the giant black woman who does the voiceovers on the Mcdonalds adverts. Its because they're fecking carrot sticks and not delicious chips! Food surely can't be THAT harmful for kids. When i was 12 a favourite thing to do was have a Mcchicken sandwich within a Mcchickcen sandwich. I had a Mcdonalds every Friday and was fed Norfuck grills and hotdogs through the day at school. And I'm not obese now. Festivly plump but not obese.
I havn't even mentioned the puddings. Jam tart, tiffin, sticky-rasin bake things and the king of puddings - jelly cubes. If anyone knows how to prepare those jelly cubes with the normal jelly on bottom and 'mystery' jelly on top please prepare one for me. You will be my favourite person forever.
Saturday 14 April 2012
She's a Peach She's A Doll She's A Pal Of Mine
She's as cute as a button
In the eyes of everyone who ever laid their eyes on Cooooorrraaaalliiiiiine.
One of my favourite bits of a film ever.
I love Coraline. It's the first 3D film I ever saw and I'm pretty sure the first ever released. I remember going to see it with two friends, both guys, in a cinema full of young girls and goth types. I also remember the moment I realised the film was completely awesome.
The mouse circus. Surreal and very odd but hugely enjoyable. Coraline is totally unpredictable; when asking yourself 'I wonder what's in the roof of the house?' the first prediction won't most likely be a huge mouse circus led by a Russian gymnast.
You're similarly not going to predict the two old women downstairs are going to strip off and sing opera. The film does whatever the feck it wants but it's a pretty good image of what goes on in a child's mind.
Up to this point the films good but essentially just an odd kids film. Its when it gets dark Coraline becomes totally badass.
The characters have buttons sewn onto their eyes. Its horror movie material in a colourful kids movie package. Even better is the moment you see Other Wybie in the background not smiling and you know something isn't quite right- shits about to go down. It's a creepy little universe they've created and just like how the first half of the film is similar to a child's imagination, the second is similar to a child's nightmare.
I remember watching the demented mouse circus bit just thinking 'what the shit?' And Susan from Desperate Housewives is great in it. The bit at the end in the big web is probably the best scene in 3D I've ever seen.
I've remembered my avid like for this film as they play clips for it along with other kid movies for a channel 4 'family movie Sunday' thing. Coraline stands out hugely though as whereas say Alvin in the Chipmunks 2 is made by adults aiming to make something with as much toilet humour as possible so kids will like it, Coraline actually gets in the mind of a child and remembers the odd fears and weird things we made up when we were younger.
I personally remember a lion coming through my window when I was younger- to me that actually happened. Similarly a monster lived in the hoover cupboard and the washing machine was a vortex that led to my cousins house in England. Yes I was a strange child. But I'd probably be good at writing Coraline 2.
Luckily I think something similar to Coraline 2 is in the works. Paranorman is looking similar, is made by the same people and is coming out this year. Stoked, look up the trailer.
Just to end- I used to be able to sing the entire Other Father Song quite fast. And as soon as I finish writing this I'll most likely get practising again. Hooray for 2am on Saturday night.
...
When she comes around exploring
Mom and I will never, ever make it boring
Our eyes will be on Coraline
In the eyes of everyone who ever laid their eyes on Cooooorrraaaalliiiiiine.
One of my favourite bits of a film ever.
I love Coraline. It's the first 3D film I ever saw and I'm pretty sure the first ever released. I remember going to see it with two friends, both guys, in a cinema full of young girls and goth types. I also remember the moment I realised the film was completely awesome.
The mouse circus. Surreal and very odd but hugely enjoyable. Coraline is totally unpredictable; when asking yourself 'I wonder what's in the roof of the house?' the first prediction won't most likely be a huge mouse circus led by a Russian gymnast.
You're similarly not going to predict the two old women downstairs are going to strip off and sing opera. The film does whatever the feck it wants but it's a pretty good image of what goes on in a child's mind.
Up to this point the films good but essentially just an odd kids film. Its when it gets dark Coraline becomes totally badass.
The characters have buttons sewn onto their eyes. Its horror movie material in a colourful kids movie package. Even better is the moment you see Other Wybie in the background not smiling and you know something isn't quite right- shits about to go down. It's a creepy little universe they've created and just like how the first half of the film is similar to a child's imagination, the second is similar to a child's nightmare.
I remember watching the demented mouse circus bit just thinking 'what the shit?' And Susan from Desperate Housewives is great in it. The bit at the end in the big web is probably the best scene in 3D I've ever seen.
I've remembered my avid like for this film as they play clips for it along with other kid movies for a channel 4 'family movie Sunday' thing. Coraline stands out hugely though as whereas say Alvin in the Chipmunks 2 is made by adults aiming to make something with as much toilet humour as possible so kids will like it, Coraline actually gets in the mind of a child and remembers the odd fears and weird things we made up when we were younger.
I personally remember a lion coming through my window when I was younger- to me that actually happened. Similarly a monster lived in the hoover cupboard and the washing machine was a vortex that led to my cousins house in England. Yes I was a strange child. But I'd probably be good at writing Coraline 2.
Luckily I think something similar to Coraline 2 is in the works. Paranorman is looking similar, is made by the same people and is coming out this year. Stoked, look up the trailer.
Just to end- I used to be able to sing the entire Other Father Song quite fast. And as soon as I finish writing this I'll most likely get practising again. Hooray for 2am on Saturday night.
...
When she comes around exploring
Mom and I will never, ever make it boring
Our eyes will be on Coraline
Wednesday 11 April 2012
Bebo - The Golden Age of Social Networking
The only reason I have facebook is because everyone else has it. If everyone still used bebo I'd still be commenting you my luv.
Bebo was my life through Oldmachar Academy. It was frothing with hidden bitchiness and obvious flirting. Maybe that was just third years being third years but it was made so much more obvious on Bebo.
Top 16. Hated by some- loved by me. It was savage. 'Oh I see you've gone to see Spiderman 3 without me. Down to number 13 you go my friend!'
Having girls in your top 16 as well. That was basically a list of how much you fancy them. I saw guys putting random girls from their class above some of their very best friends. Yeah that's quite normal. And not creepy in the slightest.
You had to keep up with where you stood in your friends' top 16s also. If you were number 5 on friend A's top 16 and you had them at number 4, they sure as hell were taking a considerable slide down the friendship scale. This would continue, until you both were wiped from each others top 16s completely, thus ending your friendship entirely.
Some things I loathed and despised on Bebo. 'Put this on your page if you knew someone who died from cancer HEART'. Why. Why put this on your page. In the words of condescending Wonka 'Oh you must really care about people who have lost people to cancer'. No need to be on your Bebo! NO!
'RIP Grandad. Love you always xxxx xxxx xx x'
I'm sorry anonymous Beboer, I don't think your Grandad will see this due to him being dead and not having Bebo in the first place.
Oosh that almost got quite angry! Lets move onto something much more fun. 'How much do you know me?' quizes.
There was always one stock question that caused a lot of awkward. 'What will you find me doing at a party?' There was a fat girl with this question where 95% of the people answering answered 'Munching on appetizers'. Poor whale.
You'd then get responses from people you barely knew who had scored 100% on the test. Twas creepy shit! You're best friends would then proceed to get 20 or 30 and you'd feel a little sad. I remember filling in these quizzes of girls I liked, receiving little scores and feeling genuinely distraught. That was us incompatible forever.
Then there was the outright 'how compatible are we?' quizzes that when done by guys would get 10 responses from 10 of their guy friends with comments in the area of 'you big puff!'. And that fat girl mentioned previously would probably fill it in and score highly, leading people to believe they were now an item.
Thooooseeee weeeerrree theeeee daaaaaaays.
I've not even mentioned flashboxes where I had a man having sex with a llama on my page for about 4 months. That sounds way more sick than it actually was, it was actually Stevo from Jackass in a llama suit...getting humped from behind by a real llama. I must've only been 14 as well, wow.
It was sad when it started to die and turn into a shit facebook. The times I had with Bebo were fun though and caused a lot of teenage angst and drama.
Bebo was my life through Oldmachar Academy. It was frothing with hidden bitchiness and obvious flirting. Maybe that was just third years being third years but it was made so much more obvious on Bebo.
Top 16. Hated by some- loved by me. It was savage. 'Oh I see you've gone to see Spiderman 3 without me. Down to number 13 you go my friend!'
Having girls in your top 16 as well. That was basically a list of how much you fancy them. I saw guys putting random girls from their class above some of their very best friends. Yeah that's quite normal. And not creepy in the slightest.
You had to keep up with where you stood in your friends' top 16s also. If you were number 5 on friend A's top 16 and you had them at number 4, they sure as hell were taking a considerable slide down the friendship scale. This would continue, until you both were wiped from each others top 16s completely, thus ending your friendship entirely.
Some things I loathed and despised on Bebo. 'Put this on your page if you knew someone who died from cancer HEART'. Why. Why put this on your page. In the words of condescending Wonka 'Oh you must really care about people who have lost people to cancer'. No need to be on your Bebo! NO!
'RIP Grandad. Love you always xxxx xxxx xx x'
I'm sorry anonymous Beboer, I don't think your Grandad will see this due to him being dead and not having Bebo in the first place.
Oosh that almost got quite angry! Lets move onto something much more fun. 'How much do you know me?' quizes.
There was always one stock question that caused a lot of awkward. 'What will you find me doing at a party?' There was a fat girl with this question where 95% of the people answering answered 'Munching on appetizers'. Poor whale.
You'd then get responses from people you barely knew who had scored 100% on the test. Twas creepy shit! You're best friends would then proceed to get 20 or 30 and you'd feel a little sad. I remember filling in these quizzes of girls I liked, receiving little scores and feeling genuinely distraught. That was us incompatible forever.
Then there was the outright 'how compatible are we?' quizzes that when done by guys would get 10 responses from 10 of their guy friends with comments in the area of 'you big puff!'. And that fat girl mentioned previously would probably fill it in and score highly, leading people to believe they were now an item.
Thooooseeee weeeerrree theeeee daaaaaaays.
I've not even mentioned flashboxes where I had a man having sex with a llama on my page for about 4 months. That sounds way more sick than it actually was, it was actually Stevo from Jackass in a llama suit...getting humped from behind by a real llama. I must've only been 14 as well, wow.
It was sad when it started to die and turn into a shit facebook. The times I had with Bebo were fun though and caused a lot of teenage angst and drama.
Tuesday 10 April 2012
Life Without The Internet
For the last week I have not had wifi at my house.
'Oh poor you! Read a book' says Grandma. 'I manage without internet so why can't you?'
Its a good question. How the hell can she cope without internet. I realised I've become quite addicted to it over the last 4-5 years.
I use it for literally everything. Facebook and that are obvious but say I decided to cook. I'd most likely look up how to online. Say I was going out to see a film. I'd look it up on imdb first. If it started to rain ferrets outside. I'd look online to see why it was happening. And to tweet 'IT'S RAINING FERRETS! #omgferrets' obviously.
Anyhoo! The last week I ventured out my room a bit. I live a bit like one of the fat people in Wall E. I know the message of Wall E is that that's an awful existence but to me its quite appealing. I just cruise round my room on my comfy chair, laptop in front of me. Socialising, buying stuff, catching up with news. It can all be done on the laptop. If Wall E came into my room and reminded me that there's a swimming pool just down the road I'd most likely send him on his way.
I say venture out my room, I mean to other areas of my house. I turned on the TV to see if anything was on and was reminded the rest of the house has sky. I looked to see if Pawn Stars or Storage Wars was on as my Dad showed me a few episodes a while ago and they were quite good.
I now know the profiles and back stories of every bidder on Storage Wars. Similarly I probably have the knowledge to work in that Las Vegas pawn shop.
Storage Wars deserves a post to itself so I'll leave that for now.
I did manage to use other peoples wifi on my iphone and their laptops when I was out. They'd offer me the code and I'd leap on the laptop excitedly eager to catch up with what I'd been missing.
It was when I got on though I realised I hadn't really missed much. 2 new youtube videos and a few new memes.
The internet needs to be a constant thing I feel. It's not like a videogame that can be dipped in and out every so often for hours of fun at a time. It just makes life a hell of a lot easier.
It's not a case of reading a book or going online. It's researching the book, reading it, then discussing it with others after. It enhances the experience.
I don't read books often but I presume this happens.
It also fills time in a much more constructive way. Right then I went to the bathroom and watched a movie trailer. What a beautiful age we live in. If we hadn't had wifi I wouldn't have known Seth Mcfarline (lin? len?) is making a film about a teddy bear that is Peter Griffin.
All in all it wasn't all bad not having wifi. I spoke to my family more, learnt who Chumly from Pawn Stars was (a king amongst people) and spent more time out the house.
If it happens again I will be an angry beaver. But at least I'll know its not quite the end of the world due to the delightful programming provided by History channel and the channels similar.
'Oh poor you! Read a book' says Grandma. 'I manage without internet so why can't you?'
Its a good question. How the hell can she cope without internet. I realised I've become quite addicted to it over the last 4-5 years.
I use it for literally everything. Facebook and that are obvious but say I decided to cook. I'd most likely look up how to online. Say I was going out to see a film. I'd look it up on imdb first. If it started to rain ferrets outside. I'd look online to see why it was happening. And to tweet 'IT'S RAINING FERRETS! #omgferrets' obviously.
Anyhoo! The last week I ventured out my room a bit. I live a bit like one of the fat people in Wall E. I know the message of Wall E is that that's an awful existence but to me its quite appealing. I just cruise round my room on my comfy chair, laptop in front of me. Socialising, buying stuff, catching up with news. It can all be done on the laptop. If Wall E came into my room and reminded me that there's a swimming pool just down the road I'd most likely send him on his way.
I say venture out my room, I mean to other areas of my house. I turned on the TV to see if anything was on and was reminded the rest of the house has sky. I looked to see if Pawn Stars or Storage Wars was on as my Dad showed me a few episodes a while ago and they were quite good.
I now know the profiles and back stories of every bidder on Storage Wars. Similarly I probably have the knowledge to work in that Las Vegas pawn shop.
Storage Wars deserves a post to itself so I'll leave that for now.
I did manage to use other peoples wifi on my iphone and their laptops when I was out. They'd offer me the code and I'd leap on the laptop excitedly eager to catch up with what I'd been missing.
It was when I got on though I realised I hadn't really missed much. 2 new youtube videos and a few new memes.
The internet needs to be a constant thing I feel. It's not like a videogame that can be dipped in and out every so often for hours of fun at a time. It just makes life a hell of a lot easier.
It's not a case of reading a book or going online. It's researching the book, reading it, then discussing it with others after. It enhances the experience.
I don't read books often but I presume this happens.
It also fills time in a much more constructive way. Right then I went to the bathroom and watched a movie trailer. What a beautiful age we live in. If we hadn't had wifi I wouldn't have known Seth Mcfarline (lin? len?) is making a film about a teddy bear that is Peter Griffin.
All in all it wasn't all bad not having wifi. I spoke to my family more, learnt who Chumly from Pawn Stars was (a king amongst people) and spent more time out the house.
If it happens again I will be an angry beaver. But at least I'll know its not quite the end of the world due to the delightful programming provided by History channel and the channels similar.
Tuesday 3 April 2012
How Nintendo Ruined a Perfect Game
It upsets me when people say Nintendo is for casual gamers. Sure there's kirby and Wii Sports but every so often they'll make a game where the later levels are so tough it makes you wonder whether they're even possible.
Anyone who's played Donkey Kong Country Returns will shudder when I remind them of the giant bat in world 3. Yes THAT FUCKING BAT.
For anyone unfamiliar donkey kong hopped on a rocket barrel that had controls more sensitive than a grabber machine at an arcade. Now imagine trying to manoeuvre the claw of that grabber machine round a narrow path that kept moving while a giant bat spat fire at it from behind, predicting where you'd manoeuvre the claw next.
It was exactly like that. It was satisfying as hell when you eventually did it but it was tough. The thing that kept you going was how you got a little closer each time until eventually you saw the exit of the cave and the bat knocked itself out or something. It was achievable.
A game exists with, what I feel, is a totally unachievable task. It's not a glitch, it's just too hard for my body and mind to cope with. It is one task I've never understood why Nintendo would even include in an otherwise perfect game.
The Boss Rush Galaxy in Mario Galaxy 2.
'Right guys we've almost finished making the game. We only have one level left and it needs to be really difficult'
'We could get all the bosses from Mario Galaxy 1 and put them in the same level Shigeru. That'd be tough?'
'Yeah that sounds horrible! Yeah add that one in on the end. I feel I'm not being the total wank I could be though...how could we make that even harder?'
'Only 3 health points and a 4 minute time limit?'
'Boom'
Why. Why would you put something so stupid at the end of such a great game. No one likes the Firey Dino Pirahna. No one. No one will like it any more if you slap a time limit on the fight with most likely next to no health.
If it was just that by itself it might be ok. You'd die a few times but you could try again right after you failed each time.
Nope, doesn't work like that. Each time it kills you you have to kill all the other pointless mario galaxy bosses again before you get there. It's heart crushing and the sole reason I never finished the game.
I've tried going back to do it but after the second time I just want to throw things at the screen. I'll make it my mission before the end of the year to get that star. I'll just need people to hold me down and being drunk will probably also help.
Nintendo, I like it when you try. But that time you just went too far.
Anyone who's played Donkey Kong Country Returns will shudder when I remind them of the giant bat in world 3. Yes THAT FUCKING BAT.
For anyone unfamiliar donkey kong hopped on a rocket barrel that had controls more sensitive than a grabber machine at an arcade. Now imagine trying to manoeuvre the claw of that grabber machine round a narrow path that kept moving while a giant bat spat fire at it from behind, predicting where you'd manoeuvre the claw next.
It was exactly like that. It was satisfying as hell when you eventually did it but it was tough. The thing that kept you going was how you got a little closer each time until eventually you saw the exit of the cave and the bat knocked itself out or something. It was achievable.
A game exists with, what I feel, is a totally unachievable task. It's not a glitch, it's just too hard for my body and mind to cope with. It is one task I've never understood why Nintendo would even include in an otherwise perfect game.
The Boss Rush Galaxy in Mario Galaxy 2.
'Right guys we've almost finished making the game. We only have one level left and it needs to be really difficult'
'We could get all the bosses from Mario Galaxy 1 and put them in the same level Shigeru. That'd be tough?'
'Yeah that sounds horrible! Yeah add that one in on the end. I feel I'm not being the total wank I could be though...how could we make that even harder?'
'Only 3 health points and a 4 minute time limit?'
'Boom'
Why. Why would you put something so stupid at the end of such a great game. No one likes the Firey Dino Pirahna. No one. No one will like it any more if you slap a time limit on the fight with most likely next to no health.
If it was just that by itself it might be ok. You'd die a few times but you could try again right after you failed each time.
Nope, doesn't work like that. Each time it kills you you have to kill all the other pointless mario galaxy bosses again before you get there. It's heart crushing and the sole reason I never finished the game.
I've tried going back to do it but after the second time I just want to throw things at the screen. I'll make it my mission before the end of the year to get that star. I'll just need people to hold me down and being drunk will probably also help.
Nintendo, I like it when you try. But that time you just went too far.
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